buffy1981's Journal

I have had it with my mother and her moods. I mean I was talking about an assignment I have to do, I decided to do it about my Grandfather on my Dad's side. She went all funny whenever I mention my grandfather, so I asked her if everything was ok and she went off at me for talking "too much" about him. I think she hates it when I talk positively about anything to do with my Dad and that really gets me depressed. It's like she wants to censor me or control me. Well she pretty much does the second one. I am too gutless to come forward and say anything about it. I still live at home as most of you know and I am too gutless to move out into the real world. I am feeling so low that I have to look up to see a slug. Heck I am lower than a slug, according to my mother anyway.

I am sorry if this brings anyone else down, I just don't know who to talk to anymore? It feels like anyone I do talk to has a secret agenda, or wants ammunition against me for something. I am pathetic, I am 28 and I have no idea whether I am coming or going. I cut myself last night and I know why I did it, I felt like I needed to be punished.

 Life sucks when you're me.