Journal

There is something so special about this time of year and what it is...is the scents that come from the changing of the seasons. During the autumn the air is fresher, crisper and has a clean fragerance to it that no other season has, also when mixed with the faint wisp of a neighbor's fireplace getting started for the colder seasons approaching, or perhaps the burning of fallen branches that lingers in the air and sends your thoughts elsewhere. It seems odd that when ninety-five percent of everything around is dying the air takes on a fresher, almost newness characteristic. I remember as a child having the delightful experience of smelling burning leaves. To think that my generation is the last generation that had that gift is amazing, but keeping the planet greener is more important than some hazey memory that my generation's children and all the ones after will never experience.

Even thou the colors have peaked and they were beautiful this year to have that fresh smell greet you with the warmth of the sun is just wonderful. One of God's gifts...that even in death or the dying process there can be beauty for the senses.

I don't believe it but it's true. I spoke with the director of benefits today and she informed me that twenty-one checks flew out of the insurance company yesterday to start covering some of my medical claims! Thank you God! I needed that to start happening. It's a load off these over burden shoulders. Now if we can keep this up, soon everyone will have their money(ies) and maybe I can rebuild some of the get out of Dodge fund.

Now if we can only get the transfer issue solved then we'll be okay for the moment.

Thanks again God. Deeply appreciate the help.  

One person has ereased in the matter of nine and half hours of total exposure to this individual what it took two and a half months for me to achive. At the cost of three weeks of vacation, then an operation with three weeks recovery time, and then two weeks of working part time due to illness and procedures the whole thing has been robbed from me and I want it back! Taking that long to reduce my stress levels and having it taken from me within such a small time frame is beyond my comprehension! It wasn't a matter of allowiing it to be done, but it was stolen and taken away without the ability to safe guard and protect it. The man sucks the living life out of you within five minutes of contact and your felt defenseless and you have zero ability to regain what was taken. Not even sleep can help you regain some of your calm...not with the lawn men working outside your window with leaf blowers cranked up on high and other machinery to grind up all the debris.

I was suppose to be able to leave early all this week and it hasn't happened! I will in the morning! I'm sorry Penny but you're on your own in the morning. I need to regain what has been stolen because I'm totally pissed off about it being taken away. Just one more night after tonight and I'm outta here! You can take this job and shove it, cuz I don't work here nomore! That transfer better get moving or there will be death and it won't be mine.