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dreadaffodil 
3:37pm, August 26, 2008
Well, I've been sorting my life's dilemas out.... trying to figure out how to achieve happiness and reduce stress. This is what I came up with. You know I've been taking care of my mom for a year and a half, and I've ended up isolating myself from the world to appease my mother. She's given up on her life and has thrown the towel in on hope. I've locked myself in this house with her a majority of the time, so that I could hang out with her and attempt to try and make her feel better. After spending last weekend away at my father's house in the country... I realized that spending too much time with my mother is what's creating my own misery and despair. My mother has a tendency to complain and magnify problems, so this week I started spending more time at my boyfriend’s house despite my mother’s negative response to me not being here with her. She doesn't like to be home alone. Last night, when I told her I was staying the night at my boyfriend house, she starting crying. I felt like shit for leaving, but I know after over a year of not doing anything for myself, that I have to start living for myself or I will lose myself. Sometimes we have to be selfish, so that we can be selfless.
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Its veyr true what you are saying. Sometimes you need to put aside your feelings to remember what you deserve. Its a shame that your mother tries to guilt you into shutting out the outside world. Is there any kind of hobby that your mother might enjoy doing that doesnt entail to much stress...like knitting, crosswords...etc?? I mean maybe if she has something to occupy her she wont be so hard on you ya know. Like my grandma she loves to sew and also you know that show "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" Well my grandma has the handheld game of that and she absolutely loves it! Hope things get better for you friend. xoxo
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