Join Now
dreadaffodil 
3:37pm, August 26, 2008
Well, I've been sorting my life's dilemas out.... trying to figure out how to achieve happiness and reduce stress. This is what I came up with. You know I've been taking care of my mom for a year and a half, and I've ended up isolating myself from the world to appease my mother. She's given up on her life and has thrown the towel in on hope. I've locked myself in this house with her a majority of the time, so that I could hang out with her and attempt to try and make her feel better. After spending last weekend away at my father's house in the country... I realized that spending too much time with my mother is what's creating my own misery and despair. My mother has a tendency to complain and magnify problems, so this week I started spending more time at my boyfriend’s house despite my mother’s negative response to me not being here with her. She doesn't like to be home alone. Last night, when I told her I was staying the night at my boyfriend house, she starting crying. I felt like shit for leaving, but I know after over a year of not doing anything for myself, that I have to start living for myself or I will lose myself. Sometimes we have to be selfish, so that we can be selfless.
UPDATED GOALS
staying sober
503 days sober
Encouragements: 2
Add your support
Comments
I've been trying to forget my problems in my on going effort to stay positive and productive. I guess at some point, you have to remember and reflect on what's really going on. Today is a reality check. What the fuc_ when is life going to give me a break. All my money that I make is going into this bottom less pit to help my mother pay her bills. I'm sharing the one car we have which makes it impossible for me to work more, so that we might catch up financially. I have to take time off from work to take my mother to her appointments. I'm an errand girl.... I'm a mother... I'm a chronic pain girl...a cataract... a rare eye disease that requires cortisone shots in my eye...I'm unable to focus on my recovery and my own life. But I have to stay optimistically durable and self less. On a more positive note: I won't be broke forever....the lights are still on. At least I have a car to share and I don't have to take the bus. My mother took care of me now it's my turn to take care of her. Maybe a car will fall from heaven and land in my drive way. ha hah I wish ! I'm healthy enough to run errands. Mom will get better, and will eventually get her disability and workmen’s comp payments and her lawsuit money. Then I'll be able to live my life and go back to school. This pain can't last forever. There's surgery available for cataracts. I'm not blind. Tomorrows another day. Tomorrows the first day of the rest of my life. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger and of course more compassionate. God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
UPDATED GOALS
staying sober
491 days sober
Encouragements: 2
Add your support
We all know water is important for life, but who knew that not drinking enough water carries a long list of side effects including fatigue, nausea, dizziness, headaches, low blood pressure, irritability etc. My mother told me that her father use to go on water diets, and actually lost weight. When trying to quit smoking or detox water is important to cleanse your system of toxins. When I had to drink lots of water for an ultrasound some months ago, I noticed that I got a boost of energy. Which might be from my lack of drinking enough water.
UPDATED GOALS
staying sober
484 days sober
Encouragements: 2
Add your supportComments
-
WOW! Maybe thats why i have been feeling so fatigued lately. Where I love the tempurature gets up to 120 degrees outside and I notice that I forget to drink alot. I guess I am just not a thirsty person LoL Hmmm i am gonna drink as much as I can today and see how I feel.
-
I meant to say where I **LIVE** the temp gets up to 120....not where I love haha
Past Entries
| August 2008 |
Friday, 8/01
 |
|
July 2008 |
|
Monday, 7/28
|
Goal Updated
Its veyr true what you are saying. Sometimes you need to put aside your feelings to remember what you deserve. Its a shame that your mother tries to guilt you into shutting out the outside world. Is there any kind of hobby that your mother might enjoy doing that doesnt entail to much stress...like knitting, crosswords...etc?? I mean maybe if she has something to occupy her she wont be so hard on you ya know. Like my grandma she loves to sew and also you know that show "Are you smarter than a 5th grader" Well my grandma has the handheld game of that and she absolutely loves it! Hope things get better for you friend. xoxo
GreatLife