Journal

I feel like such an ass!  And yet, I am happy about it in a way.  I do online banking.  My account is completely separate from the X's, but yet, I still have access to the X's account (don't really know why, but I do and I am not pointing this out to him).  Only when I am really not thinking about things will I end up going into his account rather than my own.  This was the case this morning.  And I was super shocked.  Not only is he going through his money super fast, but he is spending in really strange places - and ones that I don't understand.  So, back to back days - I saw a purchase at Eddie Bauer store - $400 - nice, I thought, he's finally taking care of looking good - good for him.  THEN, I see a transaction at the Salvation Army Thrift store - $15 bucks.  (Don't think of me as a snob please but...) so what would someone with a bunch of money need to be buying at sally ann?  I am super curious, but can't be, I know. 

 It seems sad in a way - that he still consumes my thoughts. 

But, I am off to New York City baby!  Next week - gone.  Taking the first of many to be 'screw you' travels.  I have always loved the idea of traveling and now I will be spending a full week in NYC with a girlfriend - look out, I am off my leash and ready to party.