Journal

Depression has set in again.  How do I know? I mean really...HOW do I know because I have been unhappy for so long how do I know the difference between being generally unhappy or being depressed?  I know because it is noon and I have done absolutely nothing but sit here all morning. Oh. Well...it's really just been a couple of hours because I slept until almost 10 AM.  Ridiculous. I am wasting my life.  Luckily, my daughter had friends sleep over last night, so she has been happily playing all morning. We are going to the pool after lunch.  I will get up in a minute and go through the paces of living.  But I think it's time to maybe seek some professional help again.  I feel that dark cloud hovering.  When my divorce becomes final in a couple of months I have a feeling it will take everything I have just to survive emotionally.  I can't shut down...I have a daughter to think about.

I wish I didn't love my husband anymore.  it would make my life so much easier.