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hiiii am john from india,u can always call me at 9895084807i am here to share your hapyness,sorrows,,,,,,
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joylei 
9:38pm Sunday
Why is it the people who are supposed to love you, cause more hurt than anything else? Why does it seem when you truly think you're at your lowest point, somebody will prove you wrong and kick you lower?
My whole life I've been unloved and unwanted. The pain from that is worse than any physical pain imaginable. What is it about me that makes me this way? What's wrong with me? I feel guilty just for needing someone to listen to me, but I need help. Nobody can fix it or change it for me though. I just need help. I don't know how but I feel like screaming that. I can't do it alone anymore.
I thought writing a journal would help, but I can't even bring myself to go any further. I'm literally sick from the hurt and anger. I was the best person I knew how to be. I did everything to make him happy and I'm being tossed aside and expected to understand. Not like this, I can't understand this. I never trusted anybody before in my entire life and apparently for good reason. It seems that people in real life only care when it benefits them. Who cares who you hurt along the way?
Thank you to the few DS friends that listen to me. I can't survive without you and you mean so much to me. It's nice to know someone thinks of you sometimes.
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Joy, not everyone is so callused. Keep being the best that you can and things will turn.
boomer67
Coming from a person who has been there...the hurt and anger eventually subside so you can function. It took me about two months and some great friends but I did it. You will survive this but not alone, feel free to talk to me anytime you want. I am around quite a bit!!
Sossified
Joy,,, You're a wonderful, beautiful person.... The RIGHT person will see that, sooon , I'm sure. Hang in there..... In the meantime we're all here for you...
Mark
markat425
yes family ppl hurt u like my mom last night. she berated me. even implied i was doing drugs. well i hope your mood can improve. we all luv u!!!!!!
bipolarfolse
Thanks guys, I just thought the problem was on it's way to being fixed and instead it blew up in my face in the worst way and I came out the only loser in a game I didn't want to play.
joylei
tell us what you want us to do and we'll do it. we are here for you.
joblessinmi
You know Joy,,, many times the person who at first appears to have lost,,,,, many times they turn out to be the winner..... Time will tell if I'm right.... Think about it......
Mark
markat425
i think you're brave to be so honest. thanks.
we have walked similar paths, i think.
voodooguru
Sounds like you're deeply hurt and depressed. I can relate. Life can be so cold and cruel! Seems that every single time I open my heart it gets stomped on.
asadheart