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joylei 
9:38pm Sunday
I am just so....pissed off lately. Everything gets on my nerves anymore. I haven't slept in SO long. If I fall asleep at all it's a very light sleep, where I can hear every little thing around me. It only lasts for a few minutes to an hour at the most. Most nights I don't sleep at all. Nothing I've done helps. Sleeping pills have no effect whatsoever. I can't go to a doctor for anything stronger because I don't have any insurance or money.
The fact that I'm not sleeping is effecting my mood, I'm sure. Things at work have gone downhill. I'm working harder for less money and it seems all the employees are trying to drive me insane. Why is it that they can't do their own simple little jobs right and when it's my job to tell them (and I do it nicely) they feel the urge to give me serious attitude. I have no patience for attitude from these kids...or anything else for that matter, anymore. I've tried to find another job, and have sent out applications, but no luck.
The main thing is, I'm sure, is the no sleep thing. If I could just get a few hours of deep sleep....things would be SO much better. I'm so tired all the time. I have no energy to do anything at all. I can't do this anymore.
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My husband has the same chronic insomnia as you do. He sometimes goes 6 or 8 days without any more than an hour or two of sleep. It is so destructive on emotions and your body. I suggest this: go to the emergency room and get a shot of Ativan.
This may seem like a drastic step, but your wellbeing is at stake. Your credit will be ruined because you won't want to pay the fee for the ER. I don't know if you are willing to lose your credit rating. We have chosen to forgo credit in order that he be able to sleep every now and then.
Luckily, he does go through periods when he sleeps for 2 to 4 hours each night. These periods usually last for 3 to 5 days, then it's back to the insomnia. Every little thing wakes him up, just like you.
ONe thing i'm trying to get him to do is read. He always gets relaxed very quickly with a book. Sometimes he even sleeps for a short time after reading. Sometimes I read to him in my most soothing voice and that works once in a while. He usually knows very quickly if he will be able to sleep. Sometimes, I think he psyches himself into not sleeping and gets up too early to give it a real chance.
I'm really sorry this is happening to you. WIth no health insurance it is a real downer. Even if you did have it, Ambien, Lunesta, etc don't work for him. A muscle relaxant called Soma works real well, as well as Vicadin. But he has a tendency to abuse these, unfortunately. Klonepin works, too, but he has to take a lot of it.
I have insurance, so sometimes I fake an injury or insomnia so I can get meds for him. Do you have a friend who would be willing to do this for you?
MaineGirl011108