emmiesmom's Journal

Here goes i have not written for a while and while i have been busy i have thought lots about what to say here.

 First i did not get that car i looked at while it was a good price i could not afford everything it took to fix it.

 Second thing is i ended up not getting the other car right now either because the father of my children who i love with all my heart had a heart attack on Friday Morning so i jumped the plane and went to be with him. He is doing good but man what a scare that was to hear about this and not knowing what was what with him.

 So i get home and had a fight with his mother who has the opinion that her daughter should have gone with and when i asked why well that is her brother yes i agreed it is but why should she go and not me?

 My answer was well you are not married and you are not family while we are so that is why she should have gone even if it was to go along like i am going to do something and lie about him or what is going on with his care.

 so needless to say i was not happy with this and she called not 1 time to argue but like 3 times go figure her out i can't.

 I am so tired of these people treating me like shit and not giving me respect for trying to put up with thier stuff and yet they figure i should marry Laurence like i would but they got to stay out of things when i am trying to do the right hting for them.

 Like i borrowed the money to go there and had to borrow money to get home thankfully i had a place to stay while i was there  what a royal bunch of idiots are my inlaws what do i do about them? and why am i not family? i have no idea at all.

I told them that my kids are his children if she likes it or not and be damed if she or any one was going to tell me i don't belong.

 laurence told his driving partner to call me and our oldest daughter first and that i would look after things from there so i did but they still think they should have been called first and formost and to hell with me my kids and grandkids don't belong i am so angry at them i don't know what to do but i can't let him know about it until he is stronger and then maybe i will tell him maybe i won't they do this each and every time there is an emergency with any one.

 I just feel like giving up on 36 years with this man,i was 9 he was 15, but it is so very ard to do when i don't want to but the family has to get a life.

 AND WHAT DOES BEING MARRIED HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING I WONDER????

 Helllo all,

 I am finally going to get a new car on Thursday morning i guess it will be, i am getting a 1995 Chrysler Intrepid 4 door Dark Green almost Black.

 A friend of mine found it for me and i am so ver y thankful she did, i borrow her car for grocery shopping and stuff but what  we do is go for a ride to just get out and get fresh air now we just stay indoors all the time or most of it any ways except for like 3 days a month when we have our paydays and our bills to take care of it is so very very boring and tends to make a person depressed not being able to get out others for get when a person has no vehicle to ask some one who does not if they just want to go for a ride or is there anything they need up town.

  all in all it has not been too too bad, i now have a mental health worker who i think will be good for me she feels that she can help me figure out what happened to start my anxiety being this way  and as she tells me that anxiety is normal but when it interfears with a normal day to day life then there is something maybe there you just have not figured out yet so i am going to work with her to figure it out maybe i can i sure hope so.

 I am getting busy doing the Christmas stuff already  yes it is early but think it is only a month until the big day comes and i want to be ready and not scrambling for last min. things.

 so this is what has been going on with me and for me lately 

 Take Care ever one and be happy

Okay i chickened out of the Mri i know it is for the best and all but i just could not face it.

The person who was going to take me had 50 other things to do and after the Mri too boot and i told him no way did i want to be dragged around and visiting people who i barely knew, when all i want is to go home and be relaxed i mean after all i was so freaked that i knew i would have a hard time dealing with everything let alone going visiting when i was not up to it.

 so now the Mri is set for 29 th of Nov at 1:30 and the same person is willing to take me and bring me right home after, but one thing he wants to bring his family along too, stupid thing to do because while i don't mind his wife she is nice, but his kid i can't stand.

  the spoiled brat and having to be stuck sitting even close to her is the worst thing and she is not the cleanest kid around so now what but i guess i can't be choosy i guess.