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e4now 
its 927am i missed a call from my dearest online friend last night i took my meds at 730 and they knocked my ass out hubby tried to wake me up but i was just so incoherent i think i need to tell my dr about this cuz i dont want to be knocked out so hard to where hubby cant wake me up....my friend really needed me last night and i let her down...i feel so bad
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Be a happy person
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just got in from the store i feel the need to cut
e4now
.everything is so right..but why am i still so depressed? my hubby is trying to buy a house...im in therepy 5x a week...i just got glasses so i can see...i was approved for GAX...i now have a lawyer for my SSI hearring thats on july 13th ...i have made new friends at therepy classes....why am i still down im so down i just want to cut more and more....im so hard on myself i hate myself i just want to die.....why cant i allow myself to be happy? im confussed angry sad anxious and tired just plain tired of me i think about death and killing myself more than 5 times a day i just want a medium not too happy not so down does any1else sabbatoge things just for the benefit of staying depressed? the voices in my head are constantly putting me down and im tired i just want them to leave me alone i want peace and quiet i dont know how to shut off the voices and i dont know how the curb the urge of cutting...my alters are all fighting to have control....i want control me e not Steve Lisa Rebecca Amanda or Erika how can i just accept happiness as apart of my emotions....i need to sleep and not wake up change scares me im a nervous anxious mess all i want to do is cut
e4now