archangels's Journal

Finally a bloody doctor who actually seem,s to want to help her!  he explained he is a seniour pain management doctor,he work,s for mum,s consultant but this man wasen,t giving us any B/S like the other prick who lie,s to her! my mum is a straight forward person,she always tell,s me don,t lie and make sure when you are speaking to someone that you give eye contact always,which is what i did with this doctor and he really did seem to care about my mum,s state,he has now had something else into her external pik line and this seem,t to be calming her down,she,s still in alot of pain, the doctor told us that if they give her more pain meds to quick it could make mum very ill so they are trying another pain med mixed in with her morphine in her drip,if that work,s then they,ll give her a bigger dose if it,s not helping they also explained they will try something else,it,s just so bloody hard to see my mum like this! i wish i could have her pain at least that way i,d have my mum back,the old mum who used to laugh and joke round with me,the old mum who used to play football and rounders with me and my mates ,the mum who used to let my mates in and who would cook for all of us,who used to put ice cream and cream soda in a big glass in the summer time for most of the estate when our dad,s were away either in bosnia or iraq or anywhere their dads had gone with the armed forces ,the mum who used to put plasters on my leg or arm when i cut myself,who would clean up after me when i was ill,who used to play trick,s on me and my mates,the mum who at hallioween would get a big pan out and make a big pan of drinking chocolate who made toffee apples and home made sweets and cakes,i wish i had that old mum back,now ? well now you wouldn,t believe me if i told you this once strong minded funny lady was once like this,because now that mum has died,it,s sounds horrible but i don,t think i,ll ever have the mum  who used to be so funny and happy back now,it,s so unfair that this has happened to my mum and if i,m honest i  want to help her but what can i do? it,s so dammed unfair that my mum  is in so much pain and i can,t  help her i just wish they would just give her this dammed pump!