archangels's Journal

The doctor came to see mum today he doesn,t like her latest bloodwork results,he tried to explain to me what is going on but to me its aload of jibberish,my nan went ballistic at one of the doctors and i thought she was gonna hit him! she really lost her temper with him[i,ve never seen my nan this mad!] then her pain management doctor turned jup and it took me all of my willpower not to smack him one i hate him! he isn,t a doctors he is a total waste of space! he came to see a man who is in a room next to mum,s you should have heard the patter he was giving this bloody poor man,s wife! then he came into mum,s room,he asked mum,s nurse how mum was,the nurse then started talking to him and i didn,t have a clue what she was saying to him,he then asked me how i was? i just looked at him and said why do you want to know? he then told me shaz is one of my favorate patients! that was it! in shouldn,t have lost my rag but i did! i told him listen matey! you have lied to my mother you have told her you would basically shit miracles to help my mum! but you lied didn,t you! you told her you would send her to essex to see you,re friend who like you specialises in pain management but you also told her before she went that she was to tell him that if there is anything i can do to help you in helping shaz then please let me know! then when she came home chuffed that finally she was gonna be given the chance to have this pump all the surgeon wanted was for someone local to do the refill,s and i was with my mum when you said that pile of crap you came out with! you built my mothers hopes up,but didn,t my mother tell you if it doesn,t work at least i,ll have had a chance, but nope you had to really do a number on her didn,t you! you said you would do all in your power to help my mum but you lied big time didn,t you! i hope you can live with yourself,do you ever bother to think about mum or do you just sit down have a drink and ask your wife and kids how there days have gone? cuz right now i hate your guts and i am, not gonna stay in this room much longer cuz i wanna smack you! my nan thankfully took over i had to go otherwise i would have floored him! the man is a liar and talk,s out of his bum,if he cared that much he wouldn,t have lied would he?

Well it,s almost half past midnite and i,m goin home with my uncle,mum,s pretty sick still and we,re waiting for a specialist who,s coming up from london to see her,she is still very yellow and she,s having a bit more dialysis she is a bit anemic  she may have to have a blood transfusion,the pardre came in tonight he has known mum for ages cuz he knew mum and dad when dad was in the army and when he worked here,he asked how she was and we just told him the same ,he asked if we wanted a prayer said for her,normally i would have said no,but tonight i said yes please,please ask god to get my mum this pump and please pray that she,ll get a better doctor who won,t lie to her or build her hopes up,he told me to pray as well which i have been doing since all this mess started why is it so hard to get help for someone in severe acute chronic pain 24/7 would,nt it make more sense to have the pump thus saving the local area health authority 17.000 per year,yep i,ve done all the investigating thinking the reason they wouldn,t do the pump was due to cost,s on the local area health authority,it is alot cheaper to fit her with the pump getting the right medication on board delivering her pain meds straight into her spine and then her pain would be under a bit more control,so i,m hoping that mum,s friends on this site will also pray for mum to finally get this pump,cuz right now she,s giving up completely,everytime i try to give her a little bit of hope by telling her all her friends and me and family are all praying writing letter,s etc but it,s like she has just stopped caring,she,s told me i don,t care if i die now at least i won,t be in pain anymore and no one can ever hurt me anymore,i can see her point she has been hurt alot and let down so much so that she,s told me who wants a woman in pain and misrable? i wish she was the mum i had before the medical profesion let her down no such luck is there? callum