archangels's Journal

It is just coming upto 1am and i,m sat here wondering what the hell is going on with my mum! for those of you who don,t know, my mum has been in hospital for stopping all her medication,s as a result she went into withdrawel symptom,s,it was horrible she was really sick,because she refused to go back into hospital the hospital were so concerned that they applied to the court,s for an order from the court,s to keep her in hospital on the grounds that she was basically trying to kill herself and also stopping her meds straight away that she was not off sound mind therefore due to all her other medical problem,s she was not thinking straight,the court revewed the application he also had a doctor who mum,s doctors did not know to ask for a seperate medical opinion,it was agreed that mum would be re-admitted straight away then she was sedated due to the side effects of her withdrawing from her morphine etc,the order was for 72hrs and we all breathed a hugh sigh of relief sadly that was short lived,after the 72hrs the hospital reapplied for another court order so that they could keep mum in hospital whilst trying to get mum to see sense,sadly mum was one step ahead she contacted her lawyer who chagllenged the hospital,s decision to keep mum in hospital,the judge presiding over the case has ajourned the case until monday! in the meantime mum woke up and has discharged herself and has told me she is NOT going back and no one is going to make her,it is her body not theirs to be experimented on! i ,my nan my uncles my aunt even mum,s best mate have tried to get her to see sense,but all she says is ,i have been let down enough by doctors! for those of you who don,t know, mum hasen,t trusted anyone since my aunt mum,s older sister died when she was 14 and mum was 12,mum vowed that from that day on never to trust any doctors,well she met  her pain doctor who knew mum didn,t trust doctors but after almost 4yrs he gained her trust,he promised he would do all in is power to help mum,s pain,he put her on morphine for her pain,he also told her,i think you would benefit for a painpump that would deliver continual morphine into your system,he told her,we don,t do them here but i will send you to my collegue who i ytrained and i will do all in my power to help you,several week,s later mum got a letter telling her to go to a hospital 125 miles away but mum didn,t mind cuz she trusted her pain doctor,she saw the other doc who told her after reading your niotes i personally think you are a prime candidate for the pump i am also willing to do the surgery,however we need to find someone local who will do your refill,s,mum was stoked she came back exhausted but you could see she had hope,then three week,s ago her own gutless doctor wrote her a letter while mum was already in hospital! the gutless sod sent mum a letter saying her couldn,t and wouldn,t help her anymore,so me being totally unaware as to what the letters were [i always take mum,s mail to her] she opened that letter in front of me and her face said it all,she was gutted this doctor had gained her trust and the let her down,she told us all in front of her doctors,he knew i didn,t trust doctors yet he lied to me,i would have understood if he had told me i,m not making any promises but we,ll see but he didn,t in front of us all he lied to her,she looked him straight in the eye [when he finally had the guts to turn up,he came to try n butter mum up!] mum looked at him and told him i am stopping all medication,s and if you don,t like it tough! i trusted you and you let me down!

well mum stopped all her meds and went into horrible withdrawel,she was shakingshe had crapping in her stomach her pain was making her cry and no matter what she would not take any of hert meds finally she was rushed back into hospital now i don,t know if it,s from the withdrawel but she is now yellow she is hypersensitive and can,t stand anyone touching her she keeps sweating and she has told me,i don,t want any help anymore i just want to die,i have to listen to my mum cryinmg out in pain and i can,t help her,i know that if something is not done sooner she will die,the lump she has in her stomach is getting bigger she won,t let anyone look at it and now all because she was lied to i may very well be at my own mothers funeral all because all her so called pain managment team have let her down,mum is very stubbon and i have tried everything to get her to take her meds but she won,t how many more people in this world are like my mum? how many people like my mum have to die before someone actually helps them cuz believe me it ain,t nice seeing your own mum giving up.i think it,s safe to say mum,s not in a great place right now and unless a miracle happen,s i will lose her,i would sincerely welcome any advice now we have written countless letters to these doctors in the hope they,ll help mum by the time they reply my mum it may be too late.callum