archangels's Journal

It is now 2hrs to go then mum,s court order will cease which will mean that technally she can sign herself out of hospital again and tell em where to go,right now mum is still very yellow and she,s still hooked upto all the machines which are doing my head in! i wish she haden,t  stopped the medication,s and i wish that plank who call,s himself a pain doc could realise that he should never have built up my mum,s hopes by lying to her! he didn,t even have the guts to see her while she,s been back in here! quite frankly if he did show up i,d probably chin him! how he can say he cares about his patients is beyond me! he should have kept his big fat mouth shut before building my mum,s hopes up! he should have arranged to find out if there were people who could actually do the refill,s for her,but noooooooo this idiot goes and tell,s her,you really need a painpump which would administer your morphine into your blood via your spinal fluid mixed with other meds it would really be of benefit to you! he even explained to mum that it was trial and error but at least mum had a little bit more hope,now? well she,s now lying in the high dependancy unit hooked upto all these machines with drip,s coming out of her arm,s and tubes coming out of her nose! it,s ok for him he can go home to his nice little family and leave my mum stuck here in this hospital! he doesn,t have to witness my mum going through all this crap to see your own mum sweating shaking and falling on her knees in pain,i thought she was dying she was in a right mess,i have seen my mum in alot of pain but never ever have i seen my mum so ill,i thought she was going to die,why do doctors make promises  that they don,t know they can keep.

My ignorant idiot so called dad has decided that my mum is attention seeking! your dammed right she,s attention seeking! wouldn,t you if you had been given some hope for getting some relief from being in pain 24/7? then to be told oh sorry i can,t help you now! how the hell doe,s he expect my mum to go on?,i,ve told him to go to hell cuz i really don,t wanna see him right now and i don,t give a stuff what he thinks! he decided to walk out on mum and me to move in with some dirty stinking whore he didn,t know he has spent all his money on that and they keep splitting up and making up again,now he tell,s me i,ve split up with her for good! why tell me i couldn,t give a toss what he does with his SAD LITTLE LIFE! i never realised just how selfish my old man was,if my mum ever took him back again then i wlould leave,since he left she has now  moved on,yes she,.s still pretty sick but she,s alot happier now he,s not on the scene i really don,t care about him anymore i never realised just how controlling he was towards not just mum but also me he used to tell me why don,t you sit with me when you get poaid and i,ll help you work your money out yeah right! i told him to sod off! i,m gonna go now cuz i,ve gotta go home and get my kit ready for work take care folks callum