archangels's Journal

It,s now 1.15am and i am sitting here beside my  mum,for those of you who don,t know my mum has been very very badly let down by the very person she trusted namely her pain management doctor,my mum has been in acute chronic pain now for 17+yrs and she has been takinmg morphine for qiute a long time 5+yrs.

Last saturday she recieved a letter which i duly took her while she,s in hospital because she,s having a pretty rough time,i,d better explain,mum has been in hospital for a little while due to her pain,well a few week,s ago mum  had to be sedated because her pain was so bad she begged me to give her all her morphine,so she was brought here so that she could be sedated to give her body a rest,well as i explained i took mum,s mail to her and she opened one in front of me,the look said it all,there was a look on her face which literally said it all! her pain doc haden,t even had the guts to tell her himself,he had told her that he was not going to get her a painpump she so desperatly wanted as well as needed,mum was totally upset she then told me,what else do i have left now? whats left to live for pain and more bloody pain,so she told me from now on i,m not gonna bother i,m done with all this b/s she was determined she stopped her morphine as she said she would,within a few hours she was in a terrible state and no matter how much i begged her and my grandparents as well as my aunts and uncles,she had made up her mind,it has been horrible to watch my mum go through this hell,because that gutless jerk didn,t have the guts to tell her to her face she discharged herself from hospital and i know mum,s literally had enough,she doesn,t trust doctor,s anyway,but this doctor built her up then let her down,he promised her he would help her then he let her down she had only just started to trust doctors again especally this one but like all the rest of them he  let her down again.

The hospital were so concerned about her that they applied for a court order to get her back into hospital in order to help her,and by last night she had been re admitted her by the time they got her back into hospital she was in a right mess she had to be sedated because she had stopped taking her morphine it made her really ill,so now she,s in intensive care unit and her skin has now turned yellow she is also sedated until they know whats going on and i pray this gutless doc actually rtealises, just what he,s done! he should have never ever mentioned this dammed pump without making sure he could help her! she has a surgeon who is willing to do the surgery to implant the painpump but only if there is someone local who can do her refill,s and thats when all the hassle started no one is prepared to do her refill,s and if they wake her up i know no matter what she will discharge herself again and to be honest i don,t blame her,she can,.t go on like this and it isn,t fair what they have done to her,tomorrow she,ll be having more test,s tomorrow and i pray they will help her now cuz i don,t think she cares anymore please if anyone can help us i,d be very grateful we live in the u.k callum