archangels's Journal

It,s saturday night and i,m alone and it,s bliss!!! but i got da nurse checkin i,m ok on my dialysis gotta admit it,s good being by myself sadly i,m having a little bit of trouble, george who is 82yrs old well i thought we were very close [as in friendship] well it turn,s out george think,s i,m a tease which shocked me when i asked him why he thought i was a tease he told me your showing your belly???? [just as he said that a girl not even 16yrs passed with a crochet top on which was see thru and she had a skimpy bra on!] well it turn,s out george think,s differently the way i do about him! i dunno what else to do? i love this old boy and he know,s it,now all of a sudden he,s getting moody with me calling me a bloody tease! well this lovely kind old man go,s shopping every friday and he always pick,s me up some bits and bob,s but no matter how hard a i try this man will not take my money,well yesterday he brought my usual bits and i gave him the money which as usual  he won,t take ,well i asked if he,d mind getting me some pound coin,s so he brought £10.00 in change and i gave him a £20.00 note and asked him to take the change,reluctantly  he took the £20.00 but whenever he does go shopping [on a friday] he doesn,t just get me a few bits he has also been buyin me knickers every bloody week they are what i would call granny pants and of course he won,t take no for an answer,what can i do? i truely love this old boy but i love him as a very dear friend nothing more,i don,t want to fall out with him but i don,t know what else i can do? he lost his dear wife iris 18yrs ago and he often tell,s me about her which also reduces him to tears  and i will hold his hand he also hates me being ill something sadly i can,t even help, for the last 5yrs of her life george literally took over her life as she had a lung disorder and she very sadly passed away the day after what would have been there 45th wedding annervesary,his eldest daughter lives quite way from george and his only son lives in australia and his youngest daughter lives just around the corner and he pretty much relys on her,however he is very fond of telling me how much money he has given his daughter and her husband and his granddaughter as well as his two grandson,s i keep telling him my mother and father always brought us up to pay our way,and up until yesterday he would not take my money, yesterday i literally had to harass him to take the money from me i do not like taking money from anyone and i do keep on at him to take the money from me and before anyone makes any comments yes i have tried to sneak the money into his coat pocket as well as in his kitchen and under his chair cover!! but he always end,s up putting it back! it,s frustrating to me and i do not like this lovely old boy giving me gift,s of money i can,t count the amount of times i have had a go at him to take my money,and to find out that what i think of as  just a very very dear friend only to be told this man is hoping for a relationship is a big shock,i truely love george but i can,t allow him to think he is anything but a real close friend,i don,t want to lose his friendship but i just don,t what else to do but keep letting him know that if he,s expecting more then he barking up the wrong tree,he also keep,s repeating himself telling me the same things over and over again which can be a little frustrating but he,s old so i just let it go,i would welcome any advice right now i really don,t want to fall out with him but what else can i do?

It,s been good weather which is good for this dump we call the u.k, i have just found a friend i haven,t heard from since 1998,she is ok but when i left the military town we lived in,we agreed when i left that each week one would ring one week  and of course another would ring the following week, sadly it got to the stage where i was ringing her every week so i just stopped calling she never called back,then  i went onto facebook and i saw her sons profile he replied and then i got an e-mail from her i have just replied, to be honest i,m not gonna hold my breath i helped her through a tough time he son was diagnosed as being a diabetic when he was 14yrs i now find he has just got married and has a son,so i,m really happy that he has moved on with his life and is doing well for himself,with regards to his mum? yes it,s good to know she has remembered me but i don,t know if i want to go back down that road again afterall we all change sooner or later don,t we?,well time to go now i sincerely hope you are all having a good weekend take care love shaz xxx