BlueBella's Journal

Howdy folks,

So I am back again, kind of. I havent been writing much as of late, won't bore you with details.

But, there is one thing I am learning, well trying to work out really. You can sit there and blame me for misconceptions, misinterpreting, misjudging...but when is it that your actions are taken accountable for what I am being lead to see? Don't make me feel bad for your lack of communicative skills. It is you holding back from me. I read what you give me to see. I will not take your abuse anymore, that is what it is, abuse! I will not be made to feel shit for your actions.

So here I am, saying this even though the person involved wont read it. But oh my goodness, it sure feels good to say it.

*sigh of relief*

It is an interesting thought though. People walking around, pushing preceptions onto other people, yet their actions speak something entirely different. For instance, someone who says they understand and are around to talk if you need them, yet don't reply to emails. Someone who gives you a pat on the back yet gives the hotter girl the key to the world.

When does someone become ordinary and average or hot and worthwhile? When does the idea of ourselves in our heads become a delusion? Do we accept what we think we are or what people say we are...even though their actions will contradict that later down the line?

*collapses with mental/emotional exhaustion*