BlueBella's Journal

It takes a beautiful mind to understand my world, a beautiful soul not to run in fear, a beautiful heart that remains open.

For you see, my world is not like the norm, and I cling to it as I have known no other. I am familiar with its entirety…a feeling that is so divinely crazed.  My world is the island of cliffs you see in the distance. From far away it seems so mysterious, so intriguing, yet inadequate. My world is laced with barren lands. It is dry, bare and dying. The land is a surveying crevasse, weakened and tortured over the many years. No stability, no strength, no sight of life as far as the eye can see, which isn’t far because my world is engulfed in a maddening mist.  

It envelopes my world which blinds, confuses and dazes all who are engulfed. It is powerful, thick and potent, and eventually destroys all within its path. Yet it embraces me, comforts me, and brings some kind of peace to my unsettled soul.  

My world is dark, cold and unforgiving for it has no sun. It is blanketed with a moonlight glaze which never rests. It is within its beams that your nightmares dance, sing and play to become my reality. I live through what you dream is pain. I stumble through what you conceive as misery. I scream through what you envision as torture.  Can you hear from your world what the suffering is from mine?

I see your lighthouse over the opening that separates us. Its light flickers teasingly through my mist. Is it that your light is searching for lost souls? Or does it mock those who have no way there?  I follow your taunting beam and find my way to the edge of my world. Your world seems slightly clearer. I see that my world is everything yours isn’t. But do you beckon me or tease me? I have no way to get to you, yet you torment me with your hope. What do you want of me? 

My first step to you is off my world and into a gorge of darkness of uncertainty. Is it that you want to save me or kill me? My world clings tighter to me, relentless to hold on. Your light fades. There is no fight. It takes a beautiful mind to understand my world, a beautiful soul not to run in fear, a beautiful heart that remains open. Does that kind of beauty even exist from your world?