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butterflyxlife 
2:34am, February 1, 2009
GAWWDDDDD -- GVH go the HELL AWAY!
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*vomit*
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I swear to god I'm never going to get away from it-- I just had more appointments today- leave it to me to be one of those "freaks" that gets female genital-tract graft versus host. The GYN @ the SCCA told me a long time ago it can happen, but she said she does not see it very often at all-- Well.. HELLO. What did I say? WHAT DID I FREAKING SAY?? Every fucking time I start school, I get another god damned complication. Well you know what?
FUCK THAT! I'm still doing school so THERE ASSHOLE! In this instance I don't know who I'm calling an asshole. Part of me immediately wants to blame my higher power.. While at the same time thanking him.. I mean seriously-- obstacle after obstacle.. How strong is he preparing me to be? And for what? THAT is the question that I asked myself this afternoon. He doesn't give you more than you can handle. and each obstacle only makes you stronger. Well.. why do we have to keep getting stronger? For the next obstacle? How many major obstacles are going to keep happening... and how strong am I going to have to be in the future??? I mean... seriously..
As if my eyes aren't bad enough.. the pain assoc. with this is just... not even... it's just not freaking cool. It's sooo painful to even just.. sit down.. let alone take a piss, wipe myself, or anything.... and now I have to start a specific regimen for at least the next six weeks? Multiple times a day?? I know I can handle it, it's not that big of a deal, but COME ON! I just want to be done with this and get it over with... I want to return back to a "LIFE" that doesn't involve my body being all fucked up.
JESUS H. CHRIST.
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