Journal Entry for September 9, 2008
September 9, 2008 4:12pm
Messed thois one up last night. Just like I mess everything up.
Progress
80 %
Goal End Date is Sep 11, 08 440 days ago.
pandora4150 
4:06pm Sunday
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About Me
pandora4150
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About Me
I am a 35 year old women who struggles almost daily with depression and self injury. I love young children and hope to go back to school one day to become a Pre School teacher. I have one brother who is the father of my adorable niece and nephew they are the light of my life. They are also one of the major reasons why I still fight the fight everyday. I want to watch them grow up and I want to be a big part of their lives forever. I have a very supportive family whom I love very much and would not be here today w/o there love and support. I have been through treatment for endometrial cancer and I had a hysterectomy in 06. The cancer is in remission and I am healthy again.
I am a 35 year old women who struggles almost daily with depression and self injury. I love young children and hope to go back to school one day to become a Pre School teacher. I have one brother who is the father of my adorable niece and nephew they are the light of my life. They are also one of the major reasons why I still fight the fight everyday. I want to watch them grow up and I want to be a big part of their lives forever. I have a very supportive family whom I love very much and would not
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Interests
My interests involve spending time with my niece, nephew, and the rest of my family. I also enjoy shopping and spending time with my friends. My best friend lives 5 hours away so I go see her a lot. I like to travel and I like to help out in the community. I am currently investigating a volunteer opportunity at a local agency who works with both children and adults with disabilities.
My interests involve spending time with my niece, nephew, and the rest of my family. I also enjoy shopping
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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7 hugs received, 3 discussion posts, 2 hugs given
Yesterday
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pandora4150 gave Cry2Jesus a present 2:12pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!! I hope you do something special. ANyway Happy Birthday!!…
Monday
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pandora4150 gave brgrlinct a hug 6:54pm
I am sry but my computer keeps kicking me off. I am going to try and talk but if i get kicked off again,…
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pandora4150 gave brgrlinct a hug 6:42pm
I am here. Idk where u r or if ur coming back. Just know that I am ok. Don't worry about me.…
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pandora4150 and dwales are now friends 3:29pm
Sunday
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pandora4150 updated their status 4:06pm
Life sucks right now!!!!! I wanna self harm sooo badly. I can't do this...…
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Journal
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I can't take this anymore.
July 17, 2008 2:38pm
I don't know how much longer I can stand this. The urges are really strong and I feel like complete and utter crap. I wanna …
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Hugbook
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Sorry
Hey! Meebo disconnected me! I'll be online if you need me. Please let me know you are ok.
I’m With You
Don't ever think that you are bothering me! I'm here for you ok
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Flower
I'm so glad I met you! And to think we lived so close. Thank you for being who you are, it really takes a special person to put someone's needs above their own.
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Hug
Pandora, you aren't a bother, we just feel like we are because I think deep down we're a bother to ourselves. Hang in there!! There's a lot of us here/there with you!! It's gonna be ok. I did it too.
I’m With You
I did it to today BAD it is getting worse and worse. I have been doing this for about 3 months and I dont know why so I know how you feel. I wish you all the best. Its hard, I KNOW BELIEVE ME! But we both have to be strong and find other ways to deal with our pain. I WISH I could practice what I preach LOL. Hang in there. Im with you.
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Photos
pandora4150 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Goals
View all in progress Goals
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
I started cutting when I was like 27 years old. I have had extended periods of time when I did not cut, but right now it is an everyday battle. I do b/c I like the high I get and also b/c it numbs the emotional pain. I want to stop I really do I just don't know how. It seems to be controlling my life right now and that scares me, so maybe I can get some help and support here.
Treatments
- Outpatient Treatment Program Working / Worked
- I have been in several outpatient programs. Some have helped and some have not. I think that the talking is a big thing for me. Just talking about things with people who understand and have been there, really helps. I just started an outpatient program today and it looks like it will be really helpful
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I am in therapy on a weekly basis and it does help. I love my therapist. I trust her and she understands me. We have an excellent working reltionship. She is trying to help me with the cutting as well.
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- Rubber bands work for me. The only problem is I forget to put them on my wrist. There was a time when I just wore them on my wrist on a daily basis, but not right now. Maybe I will start again b/c they do help me.
- Squeezing Ice Working / Worked
- I tried the ice thing a couple of times. It seems to help a bit.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking has always been a good outlet for me. MAybe that is why therapy is so helpful.
Close Personality Disorders
Type: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was like 29. I have been in and out of hospitals since I was 27. I also struggle with self injury and depression
Treatments
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Working / Worked
- I am currently in DBT and I think its helping.
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Not Working
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking always helps me.
Open Hysterectomy
I had a hysterectomy in Nov of 06 b/c of Endometrial Cancer. I went through Chemo- Therapy and I have been cancer free for a year
