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vader 
10:03pm, February 10, 2009
Why do people shy away from us survivors of suicide? It is because it is a taboo? Is it because noone wants to talk about it? When will all of this nonsense stop and people start talking to each other? Why are all these young mens ears stuffed always with an i pod? Why do these people attend these so called happy hours? Is it because they want to avoid me? Why? I HAVENT DONT ANYTHING WRONG.WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?WHat about my support? I was with Brad for twelve and half years and I had it hard with him,but when Brad wasnt drinking...we had fun together and he was a good man.One day he came home and he was sober and I was getting ready for bed,Brad told me to get dressed because we were going dancing? Brad and i had a good time and it showed...everyone admired his moves.Unfortunately,this was one of the last times we were out in public and it hurt me.Just because he committed suicide doesnt mean I have cooties.I am going thru a lot of pain and it would help to have someone meet for lunch and such.I wont talk about Brads death,,but I need someone to talk to.I havent got nooone and he is away.I wont see a doctor until November.I feel horrible and cant anyone blame me? I am not to blame.And if Patrick Swayze died of suicide....the whole world would be sending his wife tributes and flowers and cards...well,excuse me..I need them also.But this is the way people are.Other people can do this...you cant and this line fo thinking is wrong and immature and it stinks.just like her.
Comments
You are right. It is not that people don't care, they can't deal with it, so it is easier to stay away, so they are not reminded of it. Also, they are afraid to say the wrong thing--that you might cry. there are sooo many reasons, but it is that way now, for me, for everyone who has survived after a suicide. It is the most horribly devastating thing that could possibly happen to anyone you love. Hugs, Judy
JudyWI
Judy WI...I am sorry that I haventwritten back but this is still a shock.She still hasnt spoke to me and it is her reason not mine.Thats right.She doesnt know how to deal with it.It is so devastating Judy and everyday i cry.I am in a great deal of pain and when you love someone you think things are okay.vader.
vader
Oh Sweetie, People do not know what to say when you loose someone to an illness or accident. When it is suicide, they are really afraid of saying the wrong thing. They are confused on a regular death, but suicde just multiplies it a hundred times. Many do not know the reasons.(Sometimes the close familily doesn't even really understand.) I mean we can for sure say "Oh they were depressed." BUT that is just not quite a real answer. When my son killed himself, people were totally diffrent to me than they were to me when my younger son died of an accidental drug overdose. Everyone knew paul had been on drugs off and on for years. Everyone knew Steven had been depressed since Paul had died. But somehow they can just accept the accident better than a deleberate act. My steven hung himself. I do not even understand. People are afraid they will say the wrong thing and hurt you worse than you already are hurting. (I know just a note, a card, 1 single flower with I am sorry would help us!) People just are at a loss. May of the people closet to our loved one that took their own lives also feel a bit of guilt or regret that they had not called them or talked to them, or that they did not forsee this coming. It is all awful. Suicide is a grief witin a grief. That is how I put it. That best explains it for me. People are afraid and they lack understanding. NO ONE GETS IT UNLES THE HAVE HAD IT HAPPEN IN THEIR LIVES. That is the best I can explain it. It is an awful burden and grief. I am so very sorry. Love,Peggy
grndmudder