ManicMama's Journal

Things with the kids are going great.  Morgan is out of school and he had a good report card.  He is enjoying his summer, mostly swimming.  Riley is weening and having some issues with that, but she's doing okay.  I went away to Chicago for a few days with my mom, my mom in law babysat, and Riley did wonderful.  I come back and she's very whiney.  She misses nursing I can tell, and I feel bad for her.  I wonder if I cut her off too soon, but I don't think I did.  She's 25 months old, and though I was going to nurse to 2.5 yrs, I felt my trip would be as good as time as any.  She's doing okay, I just have to distract her a lot.  Whenever she's bored or tired she wants it, and I have to find ways to distract or soothe her.  This makes my day very busy, but I know she'll be okay and this too will pass.  Other than her "withdrawals", she's doing wonderful.  Talking more and loving summer.  Loves the outdoors...swimming in her little pool, playing on her slide, going for walks, and riding her bikes.

Things with my husband are not so great.  He's been very withdrawn.  He's working a lot and he enjoys his new job.  I thought once he had a job he liked, things would magically become better between us.  this is not the case.  He still never touches me or trys to be close to me.  So now instead of just lonely and depressed, I feel rejected.  And I feel I'm an attractive woman, so what the hell is his problem????  I called him out on it, I told him something is wrong between us and what did he think it was.  His usual answer... I don't know.  So I said is it medical or marital? In other words, do you not want to be with me, or is there something going on within you that diminishes your sexdrive or something.  He insists its not marital...so I really want him to see a doctor.  If he's telling me the truth...I don't know.  Part of me wants to give up on us.  But not get divorced.  I know that sounds so provincial, but I would not want to divorce...I know how it effected me as a kid....I wouldn't want to put my kids through that.