Journal

    I have to laugh at times to how fucked it all is.

Theirs a point in life, that I"m not able to grasp.

I will never understand why we are so consumed with saving this planet.

The planet will take us out when its ready, you and I will have nothing to say about it.

 The people with money like to tell us how to conserve.

My utility bill last month for three people was $19.87 

I would like to know what ophra"s was.

Who the fuck are these people that tell us all what we need to do.

People treet people like shit in order to make themselfs feel better, like there doing something.

You got to do this you got to do that, I don't have to do anything exept tell you to fuck off.

          I leave for a few, and most of my friends are gone.

oh well its to be expected i guess.

now that most of the drugs are out of my system, I  feel a littel better, but mostly want more.

trying to hold off the pain meds as long as possible.

Some how got through the taxes, seem to be just holding on to the apt, paying late but land lady is ok for now with it.

Things are looking ok not good not too bad just ok for know.

One thing I have learend in all of this.

When people say it could be worse.

There wrong it can't be worse if its yours, your pain belongs to you, it gose with you wherever you go.

What keeps me going.

I woke up and relized I'm not dead, and havent been thinking about it so much latley.

There have been some stressfull situations latley, but I just don't seem to give a shit.

Only at night I seem to come alive, like a vampire, I enjoy the night.

Its a time I can think about how insane it all is without getting down about it.

The class system, its become so rediculas.

We work hard and pay people to tell us things are going to get better.

We work harder and pay more people to tell us things are going to get better.

Then at some point if your willing to stop for a moment and think about it.

You start to understand that your paying people to tell you things are going to get better, weather they get better or not is beside the point.

If you start to question the system you are told things could be worse.

Stop complaining your doing better then most others.

If you question even further you are told to shut up we have all ageed to this and if you don't go along we will make things diffucult for you.

This is where it starts to get out there, The people we have been paying to tell us things are going to get better start having problems with the story of things are going to get better, to many are not getting better.

Then the story has to change to its the falt of other people that things are not getting better.

This is where the show begins, the people that we have been paying to tell us things are going to get better, start to tell us that the other people we have been paying to tell us things are going to get better are not allowing them to make things better.

Now we must pay more people to investigate the people that said things are going to get better.

Then the people that said things were going to get better get mad and we must pay more people to investigate the people who questioned the people that said things were going to get better.

Stay with me it gets better.

Now all the while we are waiting for things to get better, we are making more and more people to tell us things are going to get better, we pay more people to teach other people how to tell more people things are going to get better.

We give out degrees, awards, and money to the best of the people who can tell us things are going to get better.

We grow tired of all of this and begin to pay people to tell us things are getting worse, but for a small fee we will tell you how you can begin to make things better.

This is the world I live in, people telling people how to tell more people things are going to get better all the while knowing I and many others will have to pay for the telling of the story.