Progress
10 %
Goal End Date is Aug 3, 09 111 days ago.
Samadian 
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About Me
Samadian
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About Me
I am a 37-year old mother who is on leave from a job in multimedia. I value courage, integrity, and strength. I don't quite know what my passions are but I'm pretty sure they will be related to something creative.
I am a 37-year old mother who is on leave from a job in multimedia. I value courage, integrity, and strength. I don't quite know what my passions are but I'm pretty sure they will be related to something creative.
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Journal
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Hugbook
Hug
Celebration
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sam...Hope you are having good times with son and Motaboy.
Celebration
Happy Birthday!!!! I hope you have some cake!!! YUM!
Chocolate
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! Okay, my singing is lousy, but my hopes that you have a wonderful day more than make up for it.
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I’m With You
I wanted to tell that I am so very proud of the fact that you identified your abuser and maintain NC inspite of family pressure. I think it may be one the hardest things that a victim can do is to confront the person that made them target practice for their displaced rage. I applaud your courage. It takes much more energy to stand firm then it would be to give in and the fall into the all too familiar pattern of being a victim, even it was just energetically.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Sexual Abuse
Four abusers by the time I was 11. The first one was my older brother. I have no clue if it's just that SA is that rampant or if I was targeted after wards. Still trying to figure that one out.
Treatments
- Art Too Soon to Tell
- I channel. I pick up a brush and start painting. My brain shuts off and I create. It feels like a release. It is also very exhausting.
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- I really had no choice because I was no longer functioning.
- Massage Working / Worked
- Massage feels like I'm being nurtured in a way I need. It's painful at times and I still have a long way to go but I'm sure some of my pain is stored in my muscles and if I could afford to go to massage regularly, it would help to release those emotions from my neck and back. There is one particular spot that when is touched, makes me feel intense fear and anxiety. I want to release that.
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- Helps me feel less alone.
- Reiki Considering
- I tried reiki before I had flashbacks and after treatment, would wake up in the middle of the night and have panic attacks. I felt this treatment may have been working if the result was to be release of emotions, but to be alone when this is happening is very, very terrifying.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I have wonderful friends. They support me and encourage me. I also think about how I can't be all that bad if I have such cool people who like me and stick by me. I found friends to replace my family at a young age and they still are around. They are family for me now.
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
PTSD from all the abuse in my past.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Spent a week in the psych ward as a kid. It was very traumatic. I was referred to the same psych ward for group therapy. I refused this because I am not confident they can help. It feels like I'm being disciplined. It's a game of charades for me. The people who abused need therapy, not me.
- Supportive Care Working / Worked
- Best treatment so far.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
I started smoking socially and then found it treated my anxiety. I was hooked. I'm still smoking and it makes me feel guilty but somehow I always find a way to justify it.
Open Parenting 'Tweens (9-12)
I have a 10 year old son. He suffers from general anxiety and separation anxiety and I want to help him alleviate and cope with it.
Treatments
- Education (School) Somewhat Helpful
- School is very supportive and he has seen the counselor. She gave me some great advice.
- Patience Working / Worked
Open Incest Survivors
Raped by my brother at 5 years old. He was 13. That started the train wreck of abuse until I started dealing with it. Family is in denial of the circumstances that cause and support incest and refuses to admit it's rampancy in my family. I am the only family member to have disclosed who my abuser is, but exactly half of the family has suffered incestuous sexual abuse. I'm the only one who sees it. Family have all become triggers for me now and I'm slowly but surely pulling away from it.
