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Journal Entry for April 4, 2009 Mood
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Still losing my mind. Doing lots of crying.
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Losing my mind Mood
Saturday, March 28, 2009 | A Call For Help story
I truly feel I may be going crazy. I am not sleeping well. I used to love being in my bed. And now it's only good when I'm asleep. I hate turning out my light at night because my mind wanders and I end up sad or cared or confused. But not a t all peaceful. I've been crying a lot in the dark lately and I hate that the one place I could find some peace has gone. Last night I cried so much and today my eyes still hurt. I'm having flashbacks and although for the most part they're good, I can't confirm that they actually happened. I've been telling my shrink about all these great people taht were in my life and great things that are going to happen, but the people don't show up and the events never take place. And why would anyone who truly cares about me leave me all alone? mMaybe I've imagined all this stuff and it scares the hell out of me. I have no way verify this stuff, and no one who is coming forward to help me. If none of the stuff I imagined is true then I really am losing my mind. I am so anxious and sad that I am making myself sick. My stomache is churning and it feels like I'm gonna up-chuck any minute. The things I thought were gonna happen don't seem to be happening, so why bother with anything? Why bother cleaning or changing my sheets or making plans or washing my hair or even showering? I haven't cut myself in over 10 years and today I seriously considered it. I want a new book but I've been holding off because I thought someone else would buy it for me. But now i'm not so sure. I'm not sure of anything except the fact that I may be so much worse off than I ever imagined.

UPDATED GOALS

Be Happy

Progress 10%

Encouragements: 1

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Biggie the six-toed cat Mood
Thursday, March 12, 2009 | A Breaking News story

My ex-neighbor Lisa sucks! Lisa moved in a few years ago with her two kids and two cats, Biggie, who has six toes on each paw, and Marshmallow. They are both big adult cats now and probably weigh quite a bit-- like 20lbs or so. They're older but very loving animals. A year or so ago Lisa took in a dog that was being gotten rid of by a friend of hers. They named the dog Julia. A few months ago Lisa decided she just had to move. She needed to be somewhere else. Being in her house wasn't good for her. And she just had to get away from her family, particurlarly her mother who drove her crazy. Although her mother always loaned her money as Lisa has none from not working in years. However, lisa has gotten by on loans from her mother and from various organizations and from "borrowing" house-hold items from neighbors and never replacing them. Lisa had an epiphany that North Carolina was the place for her to be even though she had been there. She thinks the schools will be better for her kids, and while I'm sure there are some very good schools, they won't be within Lisa's reach. She has no money for a house in a good area so chances are good her kids with go to a somewhat less desirable school. However, Lisa does not make her kids go to school. So she is moving but cannot take her cats with her, probably because landlords don't allow too many pets. But Julia the dog is definately going to North Carolina. That was never in question. The cats were given to a local shelter where they will probably be put down. I am so freaking angry. I'd take them if I could but my own cat would not tolerate new comers and there's a chance she would hurt them.  I feel so bad for those cats. I am praying some wonderful soul will look past their age and weight and Biggie's unique feet. They so deserve a better life and I think anyone would love them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

UPDATED GOALS

Be Happy

Progress 80%

Encouragements: 1

RATE THIS ENTRY:
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