pokiedotmom's Journal

How have I lost myself? I used to be very creative, full of patience and very compassionate. I have somehow lost me.

I am a wife and mom. I have been married for 11 yrs, have a 4 1/2 and 3 yr old, both girls how are very strong willed. I am quiet, shy and never stand up for myself. I was full of life when I first met my husband but have put ALL my effert into him and the girls that now I can't tell you what I really enjoy doing. I used to love to garden, I do like to bake and I was very creative. If I sat down I could create all kinds of things, my mind was always coming up with artist ideas.

Now I can't remember to get gas before the 10 mile drive home out of town. I try to sit down and doodle on a piece of paper but it doesn't come anymore. I really want to start on my house now that the girls are bigger and decorate it with MY style but I just can't get the juices flowing. What is wrong with me? How do Iget this back? I really want my girls room to be special and creative. I want them to feel cozy and safe and at peace in their rooms but I just can't get it out of my head. Maybe i am trying too hard.

Well, it is 10 pm and my 4 yr old is still awake so I must help her goto sleep. I am needed once more.