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Evergreen1 
Well, this is my first journal entry. I am just having a tired and blue day today--for no apparant reason (of the moment anyway). I am so tired of working sooo hard, just me, trying to accomplish the impossible of taking care of myself, my children. . .all of it. I am so sick of being a part of these bad relationships that are just reaping with dysfunction. It's like I'm not accepted in certain circles because I obviously have had my share of problems, but I'm not interested at all in hanging out with all these folks I know who live in ways I just don't appreciate anymore. My sanctuary is my Faith and church and then there's all these other musts in my life like work. The joys of being with and taking care of my children--while trying not to feel sorry for myself while doing it, because being on my own sucks. Just ranting and raving, even though I know there are people much worse off than me. Believe me, I'm a Social Worker and I wouldn't trade places with most--so maybe I should just shut up. My life isn't all that bad. I am just dealing with so much at once right now. But I know, this too shall pass. Right?
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I have had the same experiences with relationships. Too many over the years. I am 47 and facing foreclosure because 3 years ago I bought a house with a significant other who has since started drinking heavily. I had to kick him out last December and now am unable to pay for this house and his pickup that is in my name. I kick myself rule out believing he wanted to change. I should know better. I am not a social worker but have been around the block and know that the only person I can change is myself. It is okay to feel how you are feeling. Being a single parent is hard. Everything costs so much and the bills just keep piling up. You are not alone.
jlnewt