May 20th Man has it become Summer already here. It is down right HOT> Been Having some computer trouble but I managed to get it up and working for now. Its not my computer. It beflongs to my younger sister. Now she lets me use it. I see that the house next to us sold fineally. So we shall have new neighbors. They have 2 small children. I hope that they are nice neighbors. We shall see. Once we had some renters. That fmaily had 3 dogs and they all use to come over our back fence and dig up my moms flowergarden. That was a tough summer. I remember one of that ladies dogs even killed a cat and left the severed head of a cat in our driveway. That woman was not a good neighbor. I have still been having back pain. Been having lots of negative thoughts still. I dont really care to go in to details on here. But I am feeling not so confident these days. I feel like the best years of my life our BEHIND me. I dont think that much good in is my future. I did not feel like going to the Birthday party of my great niece. She turned one year old. I knew that there would be several perosons at this party and right now Im not feeling very social. I know that is a BAD thing. I just cant seem to KICK myself out of this MOOD. HELP!!