Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 …
Hi my name is Tish and I am a 36 year old married to my high school sweetheart and have two beautiful little girls. I …
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angelsfly 
3:25pm, November 24, 2009
Decenber 5th Friday. Lets see where to begin. My parents sighed up for housing closer to my oldr sister. It will take at least one year it for them to come to the top of the waiting list. So my younger sister E she decided that since I have little to no income that we together should try to find a apartment to rent together. So I guess this means that within the next few months we will try to find a way to also move closer to where my parents will be up in Pueblo. I am going to try to reapply for ssi again. My lawyer told me it was a good idea to try again. Even though I had the lawyer take my last denial to US Disrtict court. It takes a very long time to get a new hearing. I will reapply in about one more week. I got somemore meds for my pain since I was running out of pills within 5 days. It snowed 2nd time already but it did not stick to the ground very much. My younger sister E is going to try to put this house we live in now Under my older sisters name. So my older sister said that she will try to sell it on the market. First they have to change the name on the house. It should sell it has a new roof and a big yard. Just needs some plumbing fixed. I am deeply depressed again. I get this way evry year. I stoped cymbalta since the sideeffects were severe constipation. It did not really help me all that much anyhow. I still felt depressed. Now my sleeping trouble is comming back again. So I may have to take a nap later cause I have not slept very good the past 2 days. To me Christmas just another day. This is the depression talking. Im not going back to college. I am not that smart enough to finishe college. In High School my math grades were D all four years. Nowaday you have to even know algebra to pass college. I never took algebra at all. I had enough trouble with multiply and devision. I just have to take things one day at a time I guess. Alot is going to change for me. I dont handle stress and change very well. I called the Mental health place the other day. Just have to talk to a real human being sometimes just comming on line is not enough. Its good but it still not the same as having support in person. I appreciate all my friends online. But its difficult to really know someone unless you have some contact in person with that person. Im rambling again I know. I will try to survive. I just hope that I dont loose my mind one day. Because this pain has consumed every bit of me for the last 2 years for sure. It changes a person in so many ways. The things that use to bring joy no longer matter to me. Seems like being able to sleep without pain means more to me now since I got this back pain. Plus my feet hurt and are more constantly feeling numb and painful. Hope you all have a good weekend. Mary
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I am sorry you are feeling so down... I know how hard it can be to find a way out of the black hole once you are there. I am glad you called the mental health people... I hope you will get to see someone to help you sort through all this. It sure sounds like there are changes coming... it would be good to get some support to help you deal with that... and you are right, online cannot take the place of a real live person. I wish you luck with your ssi application... I know it takes a long time, but you can't go on indefinitely with no income, as I'm sure you already know.
Sending tons of positive thoughts your way. Hope you feel brighter soon,
Hugs... Gaye xxx
GTK
Hey Mary, hang in there!! If you move to Pueble it will be easier for us to meet!! I would love to meet you!!
Try to enjoy Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year.
Keep in touch.
Love
Mary Lou
mert254