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hevy 
Just an update. I have read all posts so far and you have all contributed well. Much of what has been said by many here has at least made me realize that I need some time alone to admit and accept who i am and have been and where my heart truly is in regard to my W and whether I should or should not work at saving my marriage. I'll be in KY for the weekend, at least I can use my parents house while they are out of town to be alone for a few days. She hugged me last night and said she needed to hear me say something, but i couldn't answer. I didn't because I couldn't honestly know that I meant it. She left me a letter telling me that she didn't know how to feel anymore. That she has been trying to be closer to me, that she wants me to hold her, to turn her on, to make love to her, that she wants to change things for both of us.She says all she knows is that she loves me and she's not happy knowing if i do or not. she signed .. your unhappy and not so sure loving wife.
I don't know what to say right now.
Comments
What do you expect from her? She can feel you distance yourself! She is hurt by your affair.
It's really important to get counseling for yourself! Your W loves you, don't throw that away!
special3
Yes she loves you but do you love her? A marriage takes two. Staying out of guilt only creates resentment and prolongs the inevidable.
hrtbrokn
I still haven't figured out where I'm at with "love". I've been with my wife since the age of 17. My entire adult life with her. I don't know that I could ever not feel some kind of love for her, regardless what happens in our lives. She has been a good woman and a great mother to our children.
hevy
I am with you Hevy. I often wonder if its guilt and my kids that keep me trying. I know I care about my H. but I don't know if that will be enough to carry us through.
faithinhope68