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hevy 
Chatted for a short bit with the OW today. She has calmed down a lot. Says she still loves me and I believe she does. I told her I couldn't see her or talk to her anymore. She said she only wants me to be happy and that it will take her a long time to get over it. I still feel the sadness and loss of a good friend.
Comments
You both had to know that it wasn't going to be forever unless you were to divorce your wife. Someone was going to be left without you when the shit hit the fan. You made your decision to work on your marriage and your OW needs to respect that and leave you alone, no matter how hard that would be. You know that saying, "If you love something set it free, if it returns then it was meant to be". Or something like that. Well the OW has to understand that for your sake you have to at least try to see if there is anything left to repair in your marriage. If it doesn't work out and you find yourself wanting a divorce and you go through with it, then you will be able to give 100 percent of yourself to her instead of sneaking around. If your marriage does work out (and some turn out way better than before the affair) then all better for you. I just hope that your former OW can move on and not hold on to hope that you will get back together.
I hope that you can find support here to help you through your hard times of missing her. The faster you get over your feelings for her, the faster you will be able to give your all to your wife. It breaks the betrayed spouses heart to see the H/W go through mourning their affair partner. Your W will be wondering constantly if you are thinking of the OW. Please be honest with her and don't hold back anything no matter how hard it is or how much you think it will hurt your W. She needs to know the truth about everything in order to get visions of you and the OW out of her mind. We betrayed spouses can give you as much advice that you need to help you get through this. Many have been working on their marriages for years and at times still struggle having feelings like the affair just happened. There will be triggers to remind your W. They will set her off in a tailspin. It's up to you to comfort her during those very difficult times. I know that you can do it and be strong for your W. She may say that she won't bitch about it or give you a hard time but believe me, she needs to get her anger out otherwise it will just eat her up and she will be distructive to herself or someone else.
Everyone on DS are very supportive to cheaters who are remorseful and who never blame their spouse for the affair/s. They may be responsible for problems in the marriage but NEVER are they responsible for the spouse having an affair/s.
I wish you much luck...it's going to be a long hard road but if you are truly committed to working it out, I know you will do whatever it takes. Take care and God Bless.
hrtbrokn
I know that was a very difficult conversation and that you are hurting. Be strong - everything I read says its a necessary step to healing the marriage. Take care!
faithinhope68