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archaleen 
For perhaps the last month or so I have felt as if I about to have a meltdown.. I've coped pretty well up until this point, putting everything that could destroy me into a little box, and put it on a shelve to be 'dealt with later', well I guess that 'later' has arrived. my days are swinging up and down, mediocre one minute then feeling very dark later on.
I finish uni in 2 weeks time, so thankfully maybe I can let lose now, I will have the time and space to do so. Pretty scary though and not sure how or what will happen.
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What kinds of thins are in that "little box" if I may ask? Whatever you do, handle each one separately so they don't overwhelm you...
RobertG36
I guess just everything over the years, from drug use to prostitution, then to the little things, like being broken up with, friend passing away, feeling insecure, unloved, all those things - I feel detached from them all but know that its all just simmering away. I'm trying to get back in with my counsellor but not sure if they have space (as they are free), I cannot afford what most charge!
archaleen
Many of those things will be a challenge for the rest of your life. For instance, drug use. While I have never tried drugs, I have a close friend who was a very severe addict (almost didn't survive). She's been clean for about a year now, but it's a constant danger that she could relapse.
BUT, she has chosen to deal with it by not only facing it, but helping others deal with it as well. For her, she gets to "see it from the other side" by helping others. And, it teaches her about herself, as well. I guess it's like looking in the mirror. This has a) given her the ability to confront her own issues, and b) shown her that she has a real purpose in life. Every time she helps someone deal with their drug use, she is potentially saving a life.
Maybe you should SLOWLY do the same thing? But, you must be careful to not get too involved (don't let others' problems drag you back in). Also, you must be careful not to use them to fuel your temptation (ie, someone who is using has drugs on them and there may be temptation to use, yourself).
I'd say you could use the same method for each thing you listed, in one way or another.
Incidentally, I know what you're saying about affording things. I need major surgery but cannot afford it, either. NOT a good situation. But, whatever you do, don't let money keep you from getting the help you need. I did and it almost cost me my life (and caused emergency surgery). The second surgery I need is part 2 of the emergency surgery, although this part is not an emergency (yet).
RobertG36