GiselleSylphide's Journal

Twisted Lullaby
Fat, ugly, bitch, whore.
Over and over again
The words echo in my ears,
Reverbrate in my mind,
Fill my body and soul
From the top of my head
To the tips of my toes.
They sink into my stomach,
Tie my innards up in knots.

Fat, ugly, bitch, whore.
They are true,
They are false,
They are everything.
The worst description,
The best,
The only one that describes me,
All of me.

Fat, ugly, bitch, whore.
Whispered softly to me,
Sending shivers down my spine.

Fat, ugly, bitch, whore.
Like a lullaby
sang by my voices
every night.

Fat, ugly, bitch, whore.
Only me,
Only me.
______________
Strength

Take tiny bites,
Chew thoroughly.
12345678910
10 times.
Take 10 bites.
Chew 10 times.

That's enough,
I'm done,
I don't need food.
Food is for the weak,
And I am strong.
It settles in my stomach,
Weighing me down.
I hate this feeling.

So I sneak away,
rushing down the hallway,
For, soon, it will be too late.
Slip into the bathroom,
Wish I could lock the door,
But no matter,
That will not stop me.
Go into the stall,
Shut and lock the door,
Listening intently
For any sign of human life.

All too soon
I am gagging,
Choking on my fingers.
Coughing, my body fights me,
It doesn't want to let go
But I prevail
And win my fight.
My stomach is empty,
All that poisoned me is gone.
As I wash up
And leave the room
Satisfaction fills me.

Food is for the weak,
And I am strong.
(No worries on this one, it's been 408 days since I last purged.)