deeds1's Journal

well..it's been awhile since i've been on here..but I know when I do talk to other people, or just let out my feelings it feels good..so i'm back :)

things haven't changed..my husband is still gone, and I'm thinking it's time to do what I need to do..so I made an appointment with the lawyer on september 5 to give my final paper work...i guess I always hoped that he would see that he did love me and miss me and made a huge mistake and come running back saying he wants to work things out...but...didn't happen..even though..i get confused..because when i do talk to him (which is quite rare) he says he's depressed and his life definately isn't what he expected it to be once he left (meaning his gf is driving him insane, and he's not happy) so..do i feel sorry for him? a little...but..i think of all the mean nasty things he has said to me, and i'm right back to being mean and ready to move on..i don't think i'll ever be able to forgive him..which is wrong for me to say..but..I can't..and the other thing that goes thru my head is how much hatred i have for his girlfriend..she's deceitful, coniving, plays games with peoples heads and knows how to do that so well...he doesn't see that..but..i am slowly moving on..i just got a brand new puppy to keep me busy..i always wanted another one, but he always said no..it made me feel good to do this on my own.  I'm definately getting better being a home owner, and actually i'm proud of what i've accomplished so far...so...time is working well for me...finally.