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Searching4nansw 
2:55pm, October 11, 2008
Well, I have a wonderful husband and this I know. He's always there for me. He hardly ever complains and I love him to death. We have a great relationship except something that is a major factor is lacking. He's not romantic, and I'm a hopeless romantic. He's a great friend an even better father, and aa awesome provider but what I'm longing for is someone to sweep me off of my feet. We've been together for almost eleven years and I know that he can't have it all but from time to time I get a little vulnerable and start flirting with guys, and girls. I've even slept with three guys in the eleven years that we've been together. I'm not proud of the things that I've done and I know that there is nothing that I can do to change the thing that I've done. I'm posting this journal for help because once again I'm heavily attracted to a co worker and he is attracted to me. There is a potential for disaster here and I know it. I can't stop thinking about this guy. We flirt constantly at work, and even outside of work. We've even hung out a few times outside of work. Nothing has happened outside of an innocent hug but that's not for lack of trying on my part. I know that I have a problem. I just don't know what to do about it. I dont want to hurt anyone and I don't want to ruin a good thing. Please advise.....
Mutha fuckas always wanna talk ima give em sumthin to talk about
This journal is for every mutha fuckas wondering if I'm really sick.
If you wanna know man the fuck up and come ask me. Only bitches talk behind ya back. If you wanna know why I need to miss days so often, woman the fuck up and come ask me. If you wanna know why I cry so much, lose the bitch and just ask me. I have no problems answering your questions but when you meet the bitch that lies just beneathe the surface please don't back the fuck down and run away like a bitch with ya tail between ya legs because you asked me. I'm learning the hard way that adults have less sense than children. If a child was curious about something they would have the balls to come ask me. Speculation, and assumptions get you nowhere but a real good ass whuppin. Now this is for all the mutha fuckers assuming shit without having the balls t ojust ask me. You ready cause here it goes. I HAVE LUPUS. No, it's not cancer. There is no cure. When I'm fine one day and sick the next no I'm not faking I HAVE LUPUS. When I'm exposed to the sun for longer than 15 mins without sunblock I get an ominous rash that's followed by fever, headache, joint pain, loss of appetite, and sometimes nausea and vomiting. No, its not the FLU I HAVE LUPUS. My hair falls out in patches. I'm constantly tired. I get hives for no reason. My muscle ache so bad they burn. I swell so badly I look like someone has inserted a helium tank in my asshole and blew me up. My hands turn blue when I'm exposed to cold and it feels like frostbite. It's not frostbite, its Raynaud's syndrome caused by the LUPUS. Now that should have answered a lot of questions. If it didn't, FIND YA BALLS AND COME ASK ME! For everyone else thats been in my corner. y true friends you know who you are.I love you and I am so thankful to have your love and support. Everybody else well, yall can kiss my fat ass, and by the way I HAVE LUPUS, COME ASK ME!
Comments
Plain and simply put, I feel terrible. I used to love sunny days, now I loathe them.
Past Entries
| May 2008 |
Monday, 5/12
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Wednesday, 5/07
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April 2008 |
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Sunday, 4/20
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Saturday, 4/12
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Sunday, 4/06
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Sunday, 4/06
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Saturday, 4/05
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Goal Updated
Lmao. Amen. That's why I love kids. They'll come right up and go....why's all your hair falling out? while the mom is freaking out and telling them to shut up. Shit, have some damn balls.....I'm totally with you.
quixotica