Kearsten's Journal

So I went to bed last night at 8pm and finally forced myself officially up at 10am this morning, ate breakfast and then desperately wanted to take a nap again about 11am. Now it is 6pm and I keep thinking it is only six? I feel like today has lasted forever and it is never going to end. I keep glancing at the clock counting the minutes down until my husband comes home from working a 12 hour shift so I can go to bed. I feel bad when he comes home after a long day and all I can do is say good night. I use to work, come home and cook dinner, run the kids here and there and still find time to get out once a week with friends. Now I can barely get out of bed, take a shower and move from the back to the front of the house. As soon as I feel I have any ounce of energy, I try to do something around the house and find I can barely turn the start knob on the washing machine. Forget actually folding the clothes in the dryer because that would send me the emergency room. Today has been especially bad in the ears. A lot of pressure, popping and pain. I see the ENT on Tuesday so hopefully she will have some insight into my test results and course of treatment. I did get one thing done around the house today...I move the pill bottles off the counter into the drawer they live in...baby steps...lol. You would think with our heads in a fog most of the time we would not want think while we are unable to physically do anything but that is all I can do. Sit here and think about all the things I want to do and can't. I am not upset that I cannot do them but irritated that I keep thinking of more things I can't do. A headache is creeping in right now and I am hoping to just get through another hour so the hubby is home and I can go to bed. Maybe tomorrow will bring more energy...