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kjl1951 
1:16pm, September 5, 2009
LOVE TALKING TO PEOPL HERE AT DS. NOT OUT THERE IN THE " REAL WORLD". HERE I FEEL SAFE NOT OUT THERE, I DON'T HAVE TO WEAR A MASK. HERE I CAN BE ME. I SELDOM GO OUT AND WHEN I DO I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK I SUPPOSE TO AN EXTENT IT IS SELF IMPOSED LONELINESS. BUT I AM BETTER. OF., I HAVE HAD TOO MUCH PAIN AND REJECTION OUT THERE
BECAUSE OF MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ANS EIESIGHT I OFTEN LAUGHED AT. IIY HURTS TOO MUCH I AM YIRED OF IT. FRIDAY I WENT TO WALMART FOR THE FIRST IN MONTHS. I BARELY WAS IN THE DOOR WHEN A LITTLE GIRL LAUGH AND POINTED AT ME SAYING MOMMY LOOK AT ALL HER BUMPS!! OF COURSE I STARTED CRYING AND WE PAID FOR WHAT WE HAD AND LEFT. BY THE WAY THE MOTHER DIDN'T SAY A WORD . SHE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK UP.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I STILL FEEL LIKE A FREAK ON DISPLAY. AS I GET OLDER THE SPOTS INCREASE I JUST HURY SO MUCH. I HURT IN SPIRIT. I HURT PHYSICALLY. NF SLOWLY ERODES YOUR DIGNITY, YOUR APPEARANCE AND YOUR SOUL.. I KNOW IT DOESN'T DO ANY GOOD TO ASK WHY ME, BECAUSE I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON ANYONE ELSE. NF HAS TAKEN MY LIFE INEVERY WAY BUT LITERALLY ENDING MY BREATHING AND LETTING ME DIE. IT IS BEYOND CRUEL. IT IS AS ALL CONSUMING AS A CANCER. IT IS A DEVESTATER.
I AM ANGRY BUT SLOWLY THAT TOO IS EBBING AWAY. SLOWLY YOU BECOME RESIGNED TO BEING A FREAK. A FREAK WITH OUT A FREAK SHOW TO GO TO.
KATHY
BECAUSE OF MY PHYSICAL APPEARANCE ANS EIESIGHT I OFTEN LAUGHED AT. IIY HURTS TOO MUCH I AM YIRED OF IT. FRIDAY I WENT TO WALMART FOR THE FIRST IN MONTHS. I BARELY WAS IN THE DOOR WHEN A LITTLE GIRL LAUGH AND POINTED AT ME SAYING MOMMY LOOK AT ALL HER BUMPS!! OF COURSE I STARTED CRYING AND WE PAID FOR WHAT WE HAD AND LEFT. BY THE WAY THE MOTHER DIDN'T SAY A WORD . SHE DIDN'T EVEN LOOK UP.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS I STILL FEEL LIKE A FREAK ON DISPLAY. AS I GET OLDER THE SPOTS INCREASE I JUST HURY SO MUCH. I HURT IN SPIRIT. I HURT PHYSICALLY. NF SLOWLY ERODES YOUR DIGNITY, YOUR APPEARANCE AND YOUR SOUL.. I KNOW IT DOESN'T DO ANY GOOD TO ASK WHY ME, BECAUSE I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON ANYONE ELSE. NF HAS TAKEN MY LIFE INEVERY WAY BUT LITERALLY ENDING MY BREATHING AND LETTING ME DIE. IT IS BEYOND CRUEL. IT IS AS ALL CONSUMING AS A CANCER. IT IS A DEVESTATER.
I AM ANGRY BUT SLOWLY THAT TOO IS EBBING AWAY. SLOWLY YOU BECOME RESIGNED TO BEING A FREAK. A FREAK WITH OUT A FREAK SHOW TO GO TO.
KATHY
Comments
HUGS!!! That little girls' mother should teach her better manners. ARGH! But, you are right - you belong here, with us. Here, we're all "freaks" in one way or another, and we all belong together. You are a wonderful person - I'm sorry that others are so cruel. I understand what you mean about not wanting to go out - I get that way a lot, especially when my anxiety is high. I get paranoid and really freak myself out.
Your illness sounds so horrible! Yet, you remain a bright spirit, always there to lend an ear, cheer others up, and be there for us all. You have a beautiful soul, and you definitely make the world a brighter place. :) Big - gentle - hugs to you. Thank you for your friendship!!! It means a LOT.
twinglesMom
Hi Kathy...
Too many people in this world look at the outside of a person and make judgments and decisions based on outward appearance. They are the ones missing out on knowing a wonderful person. You are a lovely, shining example of what it is to be a good person and valuable human being. I'm glad to call you my friend. xx -Daisy
Daisylou
Kathy,
You are a beautiful and special person and I'm honored to call you my friend. Today not all kids but most of them are brats. Some parents are afraid of their own kids.
Maryca
Kathy it is too bad that people on the "outside" can not see how beautiful on the inside, it does not matter how you look you should be treated with dignity and respect like all people should. Don't let a few shallow people ruin your day. I still love you.
Marianne
MarianneAbeare
I'm sorry for the cruelty you experienced in the supermarket. It's so sad that ppl can be so heartless and rude. That mother should teach her daughter good manners and how to behave in a civil manner. The most important thing of all is what's inside and you are a very kind, thoughtful and considerate sweet person, no-one can take that away from you. Don't let this incident spoil your day, because the mother just showed how shallow she is.
You are a special friend here on DS and your messages and journals are always inspiring and worth reading. Hope you're feeling ok now hugsssssssssssss
MaRhianna
I am so sorry children can be cruel and it is the parents responsibilty to teach them to look beyond outside appearance and see the inner beauty in people. Don't let this stop you from enjoying your life you are a special person and I love you. HUGS
NANCPATT
I'm so sorry to hear how your time outside went children can be mean little things at times. Easier said than done but next time if you can manage it just look at them and say have a very nice day. HUGS girl
LadyDove
hugs
catusannie
Honey you know as well as I do that kids are the cruelest things on the face of the earth. I remember one day as I was walking across a park a couple of boys starting calling me "bitch" and I was half way across the park from them - why - I have no idea except that their father thought so little of their mother that he called her that. Just shocked me
Have a wonderful day Love
KCJ
It's normal for a little kid to be rude but the mother not correcting the child is inexcusable. I would have said something to the mother like "nice parenting". But I can be very rude when provoked.
48gem
Kathy, you are a beautiful person inside and out and if the people out there can't see that, then I pity them, they are missing out on one of the most beautiful and kindest soul I know.
Love and hugs
ToniCB
I AM SO GLAD I HAVE MIRRORS LIKE YOU MY SWEET ANGELS. LOVE, KATHY
kjl1951
Private message sent to you!
MakeTheMagickHappen
THAT MOM MISSED A GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO EXPAND THE MIND OF HER CHILD. SORRY IT IS SO HARD FOR YOU. IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT WAY. THIS IS A GREAT EQUALIZER HERE. LOOKS, MONEY, NONE OF THAT MATTERS. JUST WHAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEART AND MIND. YOU ARE KIND AND FULL OF LOVE. THAT IS A WONDERFUL THING. HUGS TO YOU KATHY
Nanoe
I agree that you are a beautiful person inside and out!!!
BlueButterfly55
My disability doesn't show itself like NF. I'm so sorry that people are more rude now than they've ever been. I'm the kind of person that likes to correct rudeness in people while I'm out. If I'd been with you I would have said, oh look at the rude little girl with the mute mommy. I think that would have done something, if only to make the Mother feel guilty, which she should have. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with stupid, rude, self-absorbed people. Take care and be strong!
Peace~
Calamitybb
small simple minds,we should pity the small girl,for you shine,she has not hope for now,not with a mother who allows her to make rude comments.
mazar
I admire your strength - you are very frustrated, but very determined to make it.
MandieGrace