sharebeauty2's Journal

I have been back out there dating for about three months.

I was dating someone before that off and on for about 9 months.

That relationship didn't end well, although it did start out on a healthy

note. Felt very healthy for many months. THen crashed and burned..

started again..THen really CRASHED and burned when he lied to me.

It marked two firsts in my life.

1) We waited a month before having sex.

2) He lied and had sex with someone else.

I am not sure about the ending being a good thing, I have only really had my heart broken

twice in my life from a romatic relationship ending..

With this one It was almost an addiction type reaction..I cried for weeks, I tried to reconcile

but I knew I couldn't let the lie go, He obviously wasn't ready to even commit to a dating relationship with me let alone anything more. I still 8 months later feel I am still not over him.

I find myself still thinking of him..I hear a song, see a car..his name is still mentioned and I

get a feeling in my chest..I cry about the loss..not often...

I have never felt like a had a best friend like that before..Why did I feel so strongly for someone who didn't feel that way about me??

So I date...I find myself avoiding men who have the same name..yet I am drawn to men who look like him..

In reality. I need to find someone who knows what they want and isn't wanting someone else to decide for them. Someone truly available..SO shouldn't I be truly available as well??

So Good Bye to PC and Hello to new Love!!