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Mouse8844 
Well,I have been to the meeting of my siblings.A bit overwhelming as I was on my own and the others all had an adult with them.Wish I had known and I would have brought my hubby for support.
Hard talking to people you don't know but it went well except for one sister who had a go at me.Apparently I am stuck up.How she could tell this after a short time of knowing me I am not sure.
Anyway have contact details etc so when I get brave will contact all but one and say hi and thanks for coming.
My birth mum has no concept of how dificult it is to find out one is adopted at the age of 47yrs and everything in your life seems changed.Whilst I am very happy to meet everyone it is rather overwhelming but that apparently only applies to her other kids who have just found out they have another sister.And yes I really can see how dificult it is for them ,but they have not gone through the shock of losing their precious mother to find out they were adopted and go through the dificult time I am having adjusting to everything.
I have know been put on the backburner again by BM.And I must say I have had enough drama with her already.She lashes out at me while treading on eggshells with her other kids.So back to counselling we go.She will have to come to see me this time.I have had enough trips interstate and disrupted my family life.Even my husband said it was affecting our marriage so I have to make sure that does not happen.It's just all too hard sometimes.Sigh!
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It is very hard, and please don't take this wrong...but put yourself in her shoes on this one - she treads thin ice with the children she raised because she knows them, they know her - this goes back to the vitually strangers thing. As you could with your mom and dad they can say pretty much anything to her whereas you are not comfortable with doing so. Them just finding out about you is a betrayal to them by the woman that raised them as there was a betrayal done to you for not finding out til 47 - the blame goes on the people who kept the secret from the specfic person.
I know how this can become 'all consuming' and I am glad your husband stood up and said 'whoa, problems', you heard it and recognized the issue. Not to say it won't happen again, unless you are adopted it's impossible to realize the range of emotions a person goes through - continue to keep the open conversation going with the hubby and I bet it will all be fine.
you said you have contact info... what about just writing letter/email? That might help take out some of the anxiety of a second round of contact?
Chris333