Appleby's Journal

Yesterday, October 25 2009, was the service at St. Michaels Church held by Francis House, the hospice that cared for Daddy until he passed away, to celebrate the lives and memories of those in their care who died in the past year.  Mama went, as did my sisters Donna and Carol and my friend Tom, Carols husband, daughter and son-in-law also attended and everyone said that the service was comforting and stirring at the same time.  It was a memorial more than a Mass; there were meditations and poems, songs and reflections as well as prayers and the lighting of candles.  A slide show of the deceased was shown, and for those who had no photo there were slides with lovely bouquets and their names and who they were.

I was not able to attend because having started a new job in June (I was downsized out of the old one), I have no vacation days left and it takes a full day to go and a full day to come back from where Mama and the family live.

Now I can no longer say, Last year at this time he was here.  I am sad and anxious and depressed, but I am fighting through it the best I can, with prayer and an on-line grief group that helps me mostly by being there when I need to talk.  There is no one here to talk to.  The one group I found was not helpful because we got no feedback and were not permitted to give any; it was just like talking to the cat and I had to go out to sit there like a little lady and keep quiet until my turn to speak to silence.  I can speak to silence at home, and my cat is very sympathetic.

My work is too hard for me, and people around me are being pressured about this alleged swine flu *epidemic* which is frustrating those trying to stampede us into a panic by not believing there is anything worth worrying about.