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CJnLA 
10:45am, October 17, 2009
Lil gay sister came to the house, unannounced as I would not have let her in, but anyway, she told me that she got saved or born again, something or other, and told me that she confessed her sins to the preacher dude and he told her that she had to confess her sins to the ones she sinned against... That would be, among others, me and our other sister...
She told me that she had sex with my idiot stbx. She said they had consentual sex, sex for money, sex for drugs, sex BEFORE I left the idiot and sex after I left. She also admitted that they had several threesomes with several different people. She wanted my forgiveness and then wanted to "pick up where we left off"...
Forgiveness is one thing (not that I was ready to just say I forgive everything you did), but as for as picking up where we left off, that wasn't gonna happen... She told me she understood, but wanted me to know that their "affair" was over... she had "put her foot down" and told the idiot that she couldn't hurt me that way any more cuz she loved me too much...
3 days later, she was back at the idiot's house... back in the idiot's bed... So much for loving me too much... So much for her being gay...
Oh, btw, lil gay sister left her wife for my idiot husband... Oh, and my idiot stbx called me and wanted to "make up"... He promised me that he had changed, that he missed me, was still in love with me, and couldn't think of himself with any one else but me...
I guess my sister is the next best thing???...???...??? STUPID MAN!!!!!!!!
And guess whose fault their affair is????? MINE... Why? Because I left the idiot and he was horny and I wouldn't come to visit... 'I am, after all, still his wife'...
Wife or not, I am NOT going to bed with that man, not even to take a nap... I haven't even been to his house, other than for Allen's graduation, in a year...
I've been absent from DS cuz I got a lot, a lot, A LOT going on right now... Can't even go into it right now... A buncha stuff I gotta figure out, sort out...
Miss all my DS pals... Love to all...
UPDATED GOALS
Not smoke for 1 year
345 days smoke free
smoke free days (days)
345
Encouragements: 14
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Comments
cj, i still find it amazing that you can write "345 days smoke free" after everything you go through on a daily basis! YOU ROCK! as for little gay sister, i have no words.....LOL :)
lovemy2
There is no place to pick up where you left off if there is nothing in the first place. She's like a chameleon, always changing her colors for her environment. Undependable, unreliable (except you can rely on the fact she'll stab you in the back). Good thing you see her clearly for what she is and keep on telling her to stay out of your life. As adults we get to pick our friends and then they can become our new family. Lots of love and we understand you have LOTS going on ... come on ds any time to vent if it helps :) XXOO LOVE YOU!!!
cypher
Miss you too!!
Rj73
Miss you
ZXJ
I was talking the other day about how you are one of the most important people I have met on DS. I think of you often-hope you are healthy my friend.
rote
Darling, you just do what you need to do... The only reason I'm here so much is I would be dead from over-working my poor weary MS bones otherwize... (Today is a perfect example of doing too much--I am wiped out and it's not even 4 p.m....)
Take care of yourself, and congrats on telling the Lil Sis to get lost!!! xoxoxo Cj
ddeadred
Oh, yeah... the was The Other Cj... (((HUGS)))
ddeadred
Love to you... and FUCK OFF to him and her..... hop we will see you around soon.
boyd52
Hey Girl, with you all the way. stay strong. As for those two. Forget it
A wolf will lose his fur before he loses his habit. So those two are nothing but an annoyance and good going with the goal of not smoking luv you too, miss ya
knuckle
Good golly Miss Molly......
Shell7
Cheryl it sounds to me like you have one helluva good head on your shoulders and there just can't be all that much to figure out. You have been wronged...betrayed by those you considered family and loved ones. They are the demons you now need to come to terms with. Distance comes to mind but I do believe that eventually you will forgive them, however you will NEVER EVER trust them again nor will you ever let them into your life. You are a very good, very decent very caring woman who has been wronged in some of the worst ways possible. So be it Cheryl....they have taught you everything you never want in a relationship. You have 3 wonderful kids. Some have more needs than others but you love them all. Time for stbx to pay up, little sister to get lost in her "new found rebirth" and for you to find a piece of joy to call your own. I wish for you the Serenity Prayer. Most folks associate this prayer with addicts but listen to the words, we all could use a dose of this:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the differnce
My heart and prayers go out to you my friend. Try to get unglued from those who would continue to use you for their own purposes, try to heal your body (i.e. foot!) and your mind...your heart will follow.
LankyYankee
Smoke free! YEAH!!!!! Great job!
My sis is the same, one minute loves me to death the next would kill me for a buck and a half.
But you must stay strong, even when you feel the weakest - look into yourself to pull yourself up from the mire that is created when the two whore-hounds get together and try to blame you for their crap.
You're are better than them and deserve so much joy and love in your life. Miss you around here too but I know what you mean about having so much going on. I'll keep you in my thoughts and send you big hugs and moments of serenity via the wind.
~Sandra
ShootTheMoon
((((CJ)))) miss you!
Namaste01
oh CJ.....
really, there ought to be a bounty on certain people.
NotDeadYet