It's Been A While...But I'm Better!!!
June 9, 2009 12:44am
Wow... It really has been a while since I've been on here. Lol! Where in the world do I start?! Well, I'll start by saying thank you to …
LucidNightmare
12:26am, June 9, 2009
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About Me
LucidNightmare
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About Me
Hi!I'm Katrina Rochelle Ray/Gordon and I'm sorta like your every day 16 year old except I'm the proud mama of a beautiful baby boy who was born November 6 2008!I love to hang out with John my fiance and my beautiful mama Rhonda.My mama has always been my inspiration and is the best mama in the whole wide world!I hope I am half the mama she is and I'll be happy!I love to write, sing and just have a good time and I love to kiss, hug and love on my precious son!Lol!My mama is my bestfriend and we pretty much talk about everything and anything that happens in our lifes!Anyways, that's all I can say for now! :)
Hi!I'm Katrina Rochelle Ray/Gordon and I'm sorta like your every day 16 year old except I'm the proud mama of a beautiful baby boy who was born November 6 2008!I love to hang out with John my fiance and my beautiful mama Rhonda.My mama has always been my inspiration and is the best mama in the whole wide world!I hope I am half the mama she is and I'll be happy!I love to write, sing and just have a good time and I love to kiss, hug and love on my precious son!Lol!My mama is my bestfriend and we pretty
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Interests
Writing, Singing, Reading, Dancing, Roller Skating, Talking With My Mama, Hanging Out With John And My Mama, Playing Online, Listening To Music, SHOPPING WITH MY MAMA LOL!!!Making New Friends, Playing With My Son, Loving On My Son, Being With My Son, Being With John...I got a lot of intrests!!!
Writing, Singing, Reading, Dancing, Roller Skating, Talking With My Mama, Hanging Out With John And My
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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It's Been Kinda Rough...
December 1, 2008 10:31pm
Since the last time I've been on, it's gotten rougher... It seems like as time goes by, my addiction to pain killers gets stronger and …
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I'm Having A Really Rough Time...
November 23, 2008 3:25am
I was going to post in the discussion board earlier but I just don't know about this... I have to go to the doctor Monday and I think maybe the …
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I've Had A Frustrating Day!!!
November 23, 2008 1:39am
These last few days have not been going good for me!!! John and me have been fighting pretty bad and I think I know why... I'm almost positive …
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Got Kidney Stint Removed Today...
November 21, 2008 4:28am
Well, I had to go to Dr. Martin today to get my kidney stint removed. They did it right there in the office and it HURT!!! They had to go up in me …
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Hugbook
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hey hun how's things going??
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I slipped up the other day too after 5 1/2 years cut free. Its not easy and you will strugle with it for life but it can be over come. I just tell myself that for today I dont get to cut and I will worry about cuting tommorow when tomorrow gets here . Love & Peace Raven
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Gold Star
hun a year is brill!!! Try not to focus on the little slip up but the amazing abstinence that went before it. You should be very proud of yourself....when you're ready you'l be able to pick yourself up and try again xxxxxx
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BIG HUGS!!
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Thanks for the support its just a really hard last few months I guess.
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Pregnancy - Teens
I found out not way too long ago that I am in deed pregnant.I'm very scared and going to the doctor soon and getting some support from my family...My half sister and mom.Oh and of course John,my boyfriend and the soon to be dad of my baby.
Close Panic Attacks
I started having panic attacks when I was 11.They never really stopped...Some are worse than others but here lately they've not been as bad as before.Hopefully they'll keep getting better. :)
Treatments
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Thinking happy thoughts and trying to not freak out about everything helps.My boyfriend John also helps a lot.
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
I've been addicted to Hydrocodone 10/500 for some time now and I'm finding it extremly hard to stop taking them.They just make me feel better...And they are a pain pill so they take away all my pain.I'm hoping now that I'm pregnant that I can stop...But that seems impossible right now. :(
Open Bipolar Disorder - Teen
I found out I was Bipolar at an early age.My moodswings can be extremly severe but some days are better than others.Thats another reason I take Hydrocodone...It helps me stay in a good mood so I don't push others away from me.
Treatments
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- Talking to my mother and venting helps sometimes but sometimes it seems as if nothing can help me.
Open Depression - Teen
Just like with my Bipolar Disorder,I found out at a very early age that I have depression.I just feel like theres nothing left to live for...I feel like a failure and so out of place.I'm hoping to get some help soon for this.
Treatments
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
I started smoking right as I turned 11.It wasn't so much as a habbit at first,it was just to look cool...But later on,it turned into one of my worst habbits.I really wanna quit now that I'm pregnant.
Treatments
- Hard Candy Not Working
- I've tried sucking or chewing on hard candy when I crave a cigarette but it just don't work.
Open Asthma
Type: OtherI'm a chronic asthmatic which means my condition is on going.I have to take daily medication.I know smoking doesnt help AT ALL but I can't help it...Hopefully I can stop smoking and just maybe my condition will improve.
Treatments
Open Self-Injury
I used to self harm myself very badly.I stopped in December of 2007.I'm here always here to give advice and help in anyway I possibly can. :)
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Going to counseling really helped me a lot.It helped me find other ways of taking my anger out besides on myself.
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- The rubber band therapy helped at times.It stings so you kinda get the same feeling as you do when you cut.
- Squeezing Ice Working / Worked
- I really liked to pour a little salt on my hand then squeezing ice.It stung and made me feel numb for some time...Once again,just like when I cut myself.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking to others about my problem really helped as well.When I felt like hurting myself,I always turned to someone close like my mother,half sister or boyfriend.Venting on other stuff besides myself worked too.
Open Meth Addiction & Recovery
About a year ago,I was addicted to Crystal Meth.Until now,I've kept it under wraps but here lately since I've gotten hooked back on pain pills,meth has crossed my mind more than a few times.I think the whole reason I got hooked on pain pills at the end of last year was to help me come down off of meth!I can honestly say I haven't touched it since the end of last year but it constantly haunts me...I think maybe I should talk about it more and maybe it will help.
Treatments
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- I started taking pain pills after I got off meth to help me cope with coming down.It helped but in return I got addicted to pain pills.
- Writing Working / Worked
- I write about it a lot in my journal I keep here at home but it doesnt keep me from thinking of it.Maybe writing about it here will help.
Open Rape
I was raped twice by two of my past boyfriends.It has taken me a while to come out with this because I've felt ashamed of myself...Because one time I was on drugs when I was raped.The other was continous for over 2 years.I'm hoping maybe joining this group will help me a little better because this time of year is rough for me since I was on drugs this time last year.This was also around the time I got raped while on drugs.I've coped so far but it's getting harder to cope as time goes by.
Treatments
- Writing Working / Worked
- Ive kept a journal at home and wrote in it offten about this and it worked for a while but it seems to not be working anymore.
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I came out about being raped and hooked on meth just yesterday on here (November 21) and it really did make me feel better so I decided to come out about being physically and emotionally abused.My boyfriend I was living with a while back raped me and abused me almost every single day.I was in a living HELL!The pain physically and mentally was too much for me to handle.I left him and moved back in with my mother and grandparents.He calls still but,I'm safe now!
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- Drawing how I felt also helped out with dealing with everything.It really did,and still does,help me get out what I'm feeling when I can't say it.
- Leave Working / Worked
- Leaving,of course,helped.Even though he still calls me and bothers me offten,I know I'm safe and protected here at home.No one here will let him hurt me and I know that.
- Music Working / Worked
- Music has helped me in many,many ways.It really has helped me through a lot of hard times I've been through and am currently going through.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Talking about this with all my loved ones really did help.Without there support and love,I don't know what I would've done.
Open Parenting Newborns & Infants (0-1)
After suffering 9 months straight with my kidneys,I am now the proud mama of a beautiful baby boy!He was born November 6 2008 at 9:21 am and he was 6lb 8oz,20 inches long.I find myself getting overwhelmed sometimes but it's a great experiance over all!!! :)
