Getting better
November 13, 2008 7:32pm
Its been a long time since my last journal entry. I haven't been around for quite a while so to all my friends I want to say …
Lostinacloud 
6:35pm, June 7, 2009
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About Me
Lostinacloud
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About Me
I enjoy spending time with family, going camping, canoing, hunting, fishing, horseback riding on my horses and swimming. I found this site yesterday when I found out my wife had left me without even as much as giving me a reason other than shes not happy. Since then I cant eat sleep or focus on much of anything else. I usually ride the horses but I cant find it in me to ride or even to eat or sleep. I hope to find some like minded people that may have gone through what I am going through and hopefully find some kind of closure for my own sake. I like talking to people online but I'm actually more quiet in real life. I'm easy going so feel free to send me a message if you have any personal experience you would like to share or if you just want to chat and vent. Normally I'm very focused but lately I have the attention span of a rock. Maybe if I talk to someone else about thier problems I can forget about mine for a while.
I enjoy spending time with family, going camping, canoing, hunting, fishing, horseback riding on my horses and swimming. I found this site yesterday when I found out my wife had left me without even as much as giving me a reason other than shes not happy. Since then I cant eat sleep or focus on much of anything else. I usually ride the horses but I cant find it in me to ride or even to eat or sleep. I hope to find some like minded people that may have gone through what I am going through and hopefully
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Interests
Music, movies, video games, cooking, hiking, boating and the list goes on. I also play guitar, keyboards, harmonica, flute, sax, trombome, bass guitar and clarinet although I dont have alot of ability with wind instruments anymore due to breathing trouble. I love computers and enjoy building them. I'm not much for the technical problems with software though lol. If you wish to know more please just ask.
Music, movies, video games, cooking, hiking, boating and the list goes on. I also play guitar, keyboards,
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Hugbook
Good Luck
Here's some luck for u and sweet eating for your horses. I miss our horses. Lost them and the farm while trying to get hubby on SSD. Hope things are going ok for you. I can't ride any longer so have a great gallop for me, ok?
Little Love
Love ya hun!
Flower
I too love horses, they are my source of strength when times get difficult, I have also been in intensive care through suicide attempts, I know that right now, you have so many emotions and thoughts running through your head but if you ever need anyone to talk to, who wont try to psychoanalyse you, I am a good listener, evern if its just to talk about horses or canoeing, I love Kyaking even though I cant spell it lol. The point is, I'm here if you wnt to talk. And snap on the marital breakdown thing too. Take care of yourself. love Angel xxx
Hug
We heard you were in the hospital. Take care of yourself. Let us know when you are back home. Pepper09mos (a new and concerned friends)
Get Well Soon!
I heard you were in the hospital. I hope you feel better and can find some joy and peace in this life. It isn't easy, sometimes, I know, but it is out there.
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have been depressed the biggest part of my life. Last week my wife of 23 years left me a note without ever once telling me what was wrong or giving me a chance to speak to her about it. I just found the note and she was already long gone. I have went to theropy and was put on lots of different meds but nothing is helping. I need to find a way to stablize this condition before it consumes me.
Treatments
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- This helped to begin with but I find when I close my eyes and try to meditate I see my ex and I cant breathe properly, I start shaking terribly and I feel sick to my stomach.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- I try to keep thinking I'm going to fix my problems and move on. sometimes I can trick myself into believing this but not lately.
- Prozac Too Soon to Tell
- They just started me on it so I'll find out soon enough I suppose.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- did absolutely no good at all. Again talking and dwelling on it only makes it worse.
- Seroquel Not Working
- didnt work.
- Support from Friends & Family Too Soon to Tell
- My mother is trying to talk to me and help but I just want to forget and dwelling on this problem only seems to be making it worse.
- Trazodone Not Working
- I slept but it didn't help the depression
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- didn't help although I was prescribed for quitting smoking and I had a severe allergic. The doctor told me he didn't think it was from the med but he saw how swollen I was and I didn't get that way again once I stopped the medication.
- Writing Not Working
- I write in my journal several times a day and still I'm only slipping further.
- Zoloft Not Working
- didn't do a thing.
Close Breakups & Divorce
its been just less than a month and my ex contacted my mother at work to ask her to let me know I would be recieving papers in the mail for divorce. I'm not handling any of it very well.
Treatments
- Leave Working / Worked
- she left and I guess shes happier does that count?
- Music Not Working
- Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
- I'm just now joining.
- Time Not Working
- each day I'm slipping deeper into depression.
Open Self-Injury
I use to cut/burn/puncture myself as a child growing up. I always hid these things from people because I knew the behavior was not a good one. I eventually out grew it or so I thought. recently with everything going on in my life I have started this behavior and I am worse now than when I was young. I always thought I was the only one to do these sort of things until I came here on DS. I'm thankful for this site its helping me to learn and understand I need to change my life.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- It helped a little but didn't do all that, the urges are still very strong.
- Outpatient Treatment Program Too Soon to Tell
- Trying this all over again so we'll see
- Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
- Starting over again and hoping for the best
- Red Marker Not Working
- didn't work at all for me.
- Rubber Bands Working / Worked
- Depends on how bad the urges get
- Squeezing Ice Working / Worked
- Depends on how bad the urges get
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- This helps a little but again the urges are still very strong.
- Tattoos Working / Worked
- for many years this worked. I have 15 tats all over my upper body. only recently have I begun this behavior again.
Open Asthma
Type: Adult AsthmaI've had asthma for about 20 years. Its effected everything I do from day to day but I deal with it.
Treatments
Open Anxiety
Treatments
- BuSpar Not Working
- I had a bad experience while I was on this medication and wasn't sure if it was caused by this so I stopped taking it.
- Klonopin Somewhat Helpful
- It didn't seem to work as well as other meds I've been on.
- Valium Working / Worked
- This was helpful but caused me to be angry most of the time until I actually started feeling its effects each day. I
- Xanax Working / Worked
- I was on this med for about 15 years come to find out I should have never been on it that long so I stopped taking it. I was taking 4mgs a day during that time.
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Lostinacloud hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Multiple Personalities
Lostinacloud hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Insomnia
Lostinacloud hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Panic Attacks
Lostinacloud hasn’t entered any details for this support group.Open Personality Disorders
Lostinacloud hasn’t entered any details for this support group.
