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lovinsah 
10:51am
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so I guess my mom gets what she wants again and gets to walk all over me and wont respect me as a person. Thats all I ask for. If she is so scared to tell me stuff - than she isn't trying to have the relationship with me that I thaught we were trying to have. The only good thing that comes out of all this is that I get to see my grandma and spend my first thanksgiving with her but I do not have to be happy about all that is happening. I feel like I guess I am the black sheep of my family. I am the last to know stuff. No wonder I act this way. I try to be the big person. I am going to have to try hard and bite my tounge this year. I am NOT happy. I would have like to have mroe time with this big thing. Why did my brother but not me? And I am not happy hidding it from my "sister" anyways no matter if I don't like her or not. why is there always drama with this side of the family? my thaughts... sigh.
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Goal Updated
Jaime you're putting an awful lot of "expectations" on the people you love. The best way to deal with family members (because we don't get to choose them) is to "love them where they are." Take them as they come and don't make your unmet expectations their responsibility. Just go and let things be as they are, or don't go at all - whichever is easier for you.
This is something I have a lot of experience with and I struggled with it for years and only created more pain for myself. You're not going to change other people, so you either have to change the way you think about things, or take yourself out of the struggle and stay away from them.
PeaceN2You
wow, peace just gave you a little "life's lessons" that only those that have lived a while can give:) Please read her words over and over a few times to let them sink in. In life you will not always be the "favorite person" nor the "black sheep" to all. Just because we love someone does not mean we like them. Sounds weird I know but being family and loving your family does not mean we have to like their personality. Chemistry plays into it. As a parent and a child I know that I love all my children and both of my parents BUT their are those that personalities mesh with mine better than others. Like Peace it took me a long time to put these relationships in the right perspective. Once you learn to except your mother for the person she is you will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulder. The only thing Peace said I do not agree with is the staying away from your mother, limit time yes but to stay away no. I am sure your mother loves you and I am sure you love her or it would not cause this much pain. Love yourself for who you are, you're one of a kind!
imcelia