tbeattie81's Journal

I've never hated working more than ever before after finding out we're "infertile" though I like to say fertility challenged!  Because at least then it sounds more like we have some hope to have children.  I hate going to work because there are babies, children, mothers, fathers pregnant woman & families every where you look.  My Dr. told me that its like when you decide that you want a certain car; you will see that car everywhere.  I understand that logic but what do you when everytime you see that car.....you ache!  Yesterday, there was a man feeding his little girl (his first child) with a bottle & it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  I had to run & hide in the dressing room for a minute so that no one would see my tears....

What do you do then.  I used to be able to work there & be really cheerful because of my medicine helping me with the chronic pain but ever since the test results came back it's really hard to be cheerful around all of the babies, children, mothers, fathers pregnant woman & families that are all over the damn place......

I try to rationalize it & say that it will happen blah blah blah but all I feel is rage that it's not me & then after the anger; heartbreak.