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  SST (11/06/09)

  Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment.
  
  This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Q and A format:
  
  Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
  A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
  
  Q. Where will the government get this money?
  A. From taxpayers.
  
  Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
  A. Only a smidgen.
  
  Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
  A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
  
  Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
  A. Shut up.
  
  Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
  
  * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
  * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
  * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
  * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
  * If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
  * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
  * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
  
  Instead, keep the money in America by:
  
  1 spending it at yard sales, or
  2 going to hockey/ball games, or
  3 spending it on prostitutes, or
  4 beer or
  5 tattoos.
  
  (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US ..)
  
  ***
  I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that I met at a yard sale, and drink beer! Just call me a patriot.
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  SST (10/15/09)

  
  Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
  The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room everyone says, 'Father'."
  
  The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people say, 'Your Grace'."
  
  The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says, 'Your Eminence'."
  
  The fourth Catholic man says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people say 'Your Holiness'."
  
  The lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, so the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
  
  She replies, "I have a daughter who's tall, blond and measures 38DD-24-36. When she walks into a room, people say, 'My God'.
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  SST (09/19/09)

  Afternoon Sex
  
  The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
  
  He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
  
  - 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted.
  
  - 'An ambulance just drove by!'
  
  - 'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.
  
  - 'Matt's riding a new bike!'
  
  - 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!'
  
  - 'Jason is on his skate board!'
  
  - After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are screwing!!'
  
  Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're screwing?'
  
  'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.'
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  authur (07/29/09)

  :]
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  SST (06/18/09)

  LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN..........
  
  
  
  The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
  
  Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my grand dad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
  
  The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".
  
  Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was "fascinated."
  
  The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
  
  Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight."
  
  The teacher sat down and cried!
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  48gem (05/21/09)

  How are you? We haven't talked in forever.
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  SST (05/19/09)

  great big ole grizzly bear huggzzzzzzzzz squishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh love ya , just a hangin in here,been busy as heck with my kids, they have another week of track n feild left, then in June we is headed to Virginia for my oldest's wedding,no rest for the wicked I guess lol
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  slowman1960 (04/29/09)

  Dont give up , just step back and regroup
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  48gem (04/06/09)

  How are you?
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  dietpilldreams (04/05/09)

  I have your email now. my new email is: PinkFairyDreams(AT)gmx.com HUGSSSS!

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