I LOVE this story. In my effort …
I LOVE this story. In my effort to climb out of the darkness, this was key in understanding that even though i want to …
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I have wonderful well for me wonderful news. i found out what illness my mom had when she died so suddenly when i was 15. it was polymyositis a muscle disease and she also had lupus. it was so hard not knowing for so long what happened to her. i watched her go, i watched this disease eat at her where my sister and i had to carry her. and the day it attacked her heart ws the day we probably would have found out what it was. For me though now being able to know what it was im hoping i can work through the issues i still have with her death and let her go. I miss her a lot she was my best friend she used to hate it how i actually got tall enough to look her in the eye and tell her i hated her. and even though i am terrified of needles i and my sister plan on getting tattoos of the lupus butterfly and for me a rose with my butterfly in moms honor. anywho that was the good part of the trip the bad part was the six hour plane ride and not being able to lay my seat back because of the baby seat behind me. hubby was terribly mad at me because i took two oxy to take the edge off the pain then wouldnt drive home in the dark through a city i had no idea of where i was going. then the bad part after he was mad he told me he was done talking about it and hearing about it and i needed a life. i cried so hard that night. i try i do i try every day to make him happy and me happy. im so happy when i can do the shopping or go to the mall. heck cleaning the bathroom and doing laundry is a big woohoo. now if only i could cook a meal without cutting or burning myself id be in buisiness. friday night he seemed ok but we wont talk about it. i decided im done talking about it with him. i want things to be normal too but i wish he could realize things are to be different now. that i will be on meds, that im not able to do as much, and that i do suffer from depression now. im just as frustrated as he is i think he needs to go to counseling with me but i do not know how to talk to him about it. anyways im finally relieved to know what happened to mom i spent so many years wondering and praying still hurts about what happened it was so fast for her. but now hopefully my family and i can move on.
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I'm so happy you know. And it sounds like your hubby may very well be a major source of your depression. I can't believe he got upset for you not driving, especially being an EMT. I don't even know what to say, but he has major issues. I think counseling is a good idea too. I hope you get to where you can be happy soon.
kelly7463