Extremely rough night
October 15, 2008 11:59pm
I feel horrible.
The exact same thing that happened with my best friend six months ago just happened with my five closest girl …
serene26 
3:16am, August 2, 2009
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About Me
serene26
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About Me
I live in NYC and I'm always up for the next big adventure. I'm learning to keep the past in the past and to keep looking forward.
I live in NYC and I'm always up for the next big adventure. I'm learning to keep the past in the past and to keep looking forward.
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Interests
photography, great lattes in a quaint coffee shops, meeting people, great conversation, ancient history, buddhism, meditation, walking around the city when its nice out, museums, parks... i could go on and on :)
photography, great lattes in a quaint coffee shops, meeting people, great conversation, ancient history,
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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This entry is private
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Tonight
October 5, 2008 5:01am
I'm shaking. I'm so cold. I'm so sad. I'm so nervous. I'm so anxious. I'm so very very …
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Photos
serene26 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Alcoholism
I quickly became lost and I turned into someone I really just did not know. I have to drastically cut back on the drinking - it took a toll on my friendships, my self esteem, and my outlook on life. So far, I'm doing really well and I feel like I've done a complete 180 degree turn around. I think back to drunken nights and those nights I would blackout and I just think 'who was that girl so out of control?' I'm glad I'm not her anymore.
Treatments
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- Shared at an online AA meeting. I saw myself in other people's stories. So many similarities. It was the first step that I needed to take.
- Cold Turkey Working / Worked
- The first few days were hard - I kept thinking 'how am I going to live without drinking!?' I've been to pubs since and getting a drink just isn't even an option.
- Willpower Working / Worked
- So far so good.
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI'm really good at putting on a smile during the day. I convince myself I'm happy. But, it's the nighttime - the time when I'm all alone to think. I realize I'm unhappy. I'm angry. I'm anxious. It's all too much.
Treatments
- Meditation Working / Worked
- It worked when I stuck to it, but I have since fallen out of the habit. I'm trying to get back into it.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- It's just that I don't always believe them.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- She has helped me realize that I am angry inside.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- I have an amazing support system.
- Writing Working / Worked
- My journal knows all of the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- I stopped taking it for a while, and definitely felt the effects. I'm back on and working to get healthy.
Open Fitness Goals
Type: Be the best you can beI've been overweight for as long as I can remember. Over the past two years I have lost over 50 pounds and am looking to continue losing weight through healthy diet and exercise.
Open Financial Challenges
I have managed to get myself into some serious credit card debt. I have student loans that are in the six figures, and I need to educate myself on how to take care of all of this responsibly.
Treatments
- Budgeting Too Soon to Tell
- I'm going to do my best to try to stick with this.
