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soultosoul 
8:25pm, September 7, 2009
UPDATED GOALS
Gratitude Book
Progress 25%
Encouragements: 1
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guided meditation
Progress 25%
Encouragements: 1
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I will start on a negative but its what got me journalling today, i have just returned from my friends funeral she was 42, 5 weeks ago she thought she had a chest infection was admitted to hospital for tests and after test results which took a coupld of weeks she was given between 2 days and 2 weeks to live, the managed 3 weeks from the date she got the news, this was not someone i was still in contact with she was a close friend from when we were mid teens to early 20s, if we did bump into each other we always stopped for a good catch up, it was so sad, she had two sons, 23 and 12, heartbreaking to watch them, there is also a sad story behind the boys nad i'm not sure if they know they are brothers, they may think they are uncle and nephew, well the funeral today made me think a lot and i just wanted to catch up with my own thoughts in my own life.
The first thing coming to my mind was my oldest son who is 18, i split up with his dad when he was one, i am catholic (although dont go to church weekly and havent for as long as i have been an adult) and his dad wasnt so i never got him baptised, i now feel bad about this and am going to ask him if he would consider this, my two younger sons from my current relationship are both catholics, this might seem strange when i dont go to chapel but i believe in God and i feel at the moment i have made a mistake
i also have had 3 or 4 major incidents in my life that i have never really put to rest, i need to do this now, i know i can deal with these things through therapuetic intervnetions and if i dont i am allowing the past to create my future, and of course my present
even though i haved came on so much in recent months i am not likving a life anyhwhere that which i want, again i know what i can do to make this happen so why am i not putting into practice what i preach ?
i do acknowledge that i have many wonderful people and opportunites in my life that i am grateful for and i think maybe the only person letting me down is me,
i have deleted the goals i had on my profile today and i am going to think over the next couple of days what it is i reallt want and how can i achieve this, then i will set new short term goals
i am so grateful to ds, mainly the serenity room, its a lifeline of people who understand,
we never know how long we will have in this life and i need to look at making the best of every moment for me and those i love
Comments
Comments
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Just think Alison, in a few months you'll be a new women and will have to shop for new clothes! You should feel so wonderful about setting your goal and working hard to achieve it. Spring time is the perfect time to be inspired for new growth in all aspects of our lives, both mental & physical. I know you can do this. You have accomplished so much in your life already.
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How much have you managed to lose Alison? About 9lbs?
I hope you continue to be successful, but dont be in too much of a rush, you'll get there.
Well done for what you have achieved so far :)
Love Beth xxx
Past Entries
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Saturday, 5/02
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April 2009 |
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Thursday, 4/30
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Wednesday, 4/22
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March 2009 |
Wednesday, 3/04
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February 2009 |
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Wednesday, 2/25
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Wednesday, 2/25
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Sunday, 2/15
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January 2009 |
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Monday, 1/26
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Saturday, 1/24
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Saturday, 1/24
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Wednesday, 1/21
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Sunday, 1/11
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Wednesday, 1/07
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Sunday, 1/04
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Saturday, 1/03
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Friday, 1/02
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Thursday, 1/01
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December 2008 |
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Wednesday, 12/31
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Tuesday, 12/30
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November 2008 |
Monday, 11/17
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Saturday, 11/01
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April 2008 |
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Friday, 4/18
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Wednesday, 4/16
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Tuesday, 4/15
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Monday, 4/14
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Saturday, 4/05
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Thursday, 4/03
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March 2008 |
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Monday, 3/31
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Monday, 3/31
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Sunday, 3/30
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Saturday, 3/29
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Thursday, 3/27
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Tuesday, 3/25
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Monday, 3/24
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Goal Updated
Im so so sorry to hear about your childhood friend & your loss.
Im glad you are goin to work on your issues, that youve left up in the air. You are on the right track & we will all be here for you!!!
Dee, from the Serenity Room.
LOTS OF LOVE & HUGS
DeeKorn13
Dee, I think you've reached a point in your life, where you see things & people passing by and you also want to find a deeper peace within. Therapy is wonderful for helping resolve issues, but true peace & acceptance only comes from God, whether you go to church or not. I faithful went to church 1-3/wk for 40 years. The last 10 years I gradually stopped going, but I don't consider my faith in God to be any less. In fact, I consider it to be greater. Worshiping together in a church can be an awesome experience. Partaking in communion is always a life changing moment for me. But, I too had some unresolved issues with hubby's family who were very active in the church, but not very christian as far as I was concerned. For my own inner peace I had to build a deeper relationship with God at home through his word, and by reading religious inspired books. I pray that you will find your inner peace. I pray that the issues you have may be resolved. I pray that your son will be baptized. You are a very special person, who cares so very deeply, and I'm sure you hurt very deeply because of this. Be kind and patient with yourself. You are such a special giving person. The world is a better place because you are here, just the way you are. Love you and hugs, Linda
Petersen
Sorry about your sadness today & the loss of your friend. Small questiong for you... Do your beleive in 'life after death?' Have always felt so certain that there is one & it will be a beautifull place, with no limitations where I will be very physically active, like I used to. I want to play racquetball
& tennis again & go swimming, ride a bycicle, swim.
When someone in my life passes, I picture their spirit having a great time & hooked up with lost loved ones.
You could think about that,
Lorna
darcie
It's very sad that your friend lost her life at such a young age, and dreadful for her 2 boys. None of us knows how long we have on this earth, so as you say try and make the best of this life. Hope you feel more positive tomorrow and find some peace.
kinders
I'm sorry about your friend. It is hard to lose anyone we care about.
danacr
I understand what you mean about wanting a different life for yourself and not doing anything to achieve that goal... I feel the same at the moment. I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in the small things of day to day life that we forget to make time for making sure our overall life plan is happening. I have started trying to dedicate small amounts of time each day - 5 minutes here and there - to positive thinking and the law of attraction as I believe this will help me to bring what I want into my life and overall help my anxiety levels.
Hope this made some sense. Sorry for the loss your friend.
Vicsta
I'm so sorry you lost your friend. I hope you find peace with the thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing today. I was once religous and went to church faithfully and took my kids when they were young. After the divorce of their father and myself, I stopped attending church. I tried to go to a new church but it never felt right so I just don't go now. I do consider it often though. I believe in God and know that He still loves and cares about me. Maybe we should ask Him what He wants and expects from us. Thank you for sharing this with us, It certainly gave me something to think about strongly.
vhaley
One day at a time and one step at a time. You have my understanding and support.
Kind regards,
Eric
ericbwonder
Hey Alison, I'm so sorry for your loss also, it's a massive shock for anyone when terrible things like these happen and I wish I could say something better but please just know I am here for you and I'm sending you my love & energy. Keep talking about it, when you're ready in your own time, as well as those other events you mentioned that you feel haven't been put to bed. Try not to let yourself get overwhelmed hun so maybe start with one and work on one at a time. You will get there, and we are all here for you every step of the way. I consider myself to be 'spiritual' I guess instead of religious so I can't give much advice on the baptism issue for your eldest son but seeing that he is 18 and it would be such a big symbolic thing that would affect him also I think the best advice I could give would be to sit down with him and have a heart-to-heart on the issue...or what about a soul-to-soul ;-) (Love your username!) I hear you about wanting to practice what you preach- couldn't have said it any better myself! Outside perspective is such an important thing especially for those of us dealing with anxiety and/or depression issues so keep sharing with us how you're going and we can keep holding the mirror back up to you, with all the love and support in the world. I have very recently been experiencing the very same thing lately and if it wasn't for my DS friends here showing me a different perspective on things and what I'm doing (or not doing) then I would have never been any the wiser,someone else's honest perspective is a true blessing. Lots of love to you Alison xxxxxxxxx
Rubyshooz
That is sad and it does give us an opportunity to reflect on our lives. I am so glad you are coming to grips with your past and thinking positive about the present and future. You are a winner and continue to seek God's will and He will not let you down.
Survivable
I am so sorry for your loss. It seems at a time of grief we often reflect. I believe things are often meant to happen for a reason. Maybe at this time in your son's life he would have a better understanding and appreciation for faith and religious rituals such as baptism, as an adult the two of you are capable of having more mature conversations and approaches.
as far as practicing what you preach just be gentle with yourself it is not a set of rules and we all have our moments of doubt. It is wonderful to be on this ds community and receive love and support. Peace!
cypher
Your loss sounds devestating and it has provoked alot of anxiety. You sound a little tired too and in need of some time for you.
The serenity room wouldnt accept my email il investigate. Speak soon. Hug
photo
Your loss sounds devestating and it has provoked alot of anxiety. You sound a little tired too and in need of some time for you.
The serenity room wouldnt accept my email il investigate. Speak soon. Hug
photo
im sorry about losing your friend at such an early age i too ost my mom when she was 42 to a battle with breast cancer i was 21 at the time and three months pregnant but my heart goes out to her boys i know the void that they are felling right now i hope that things start to look up for yourself and you can make goals and complete then adn start to make little ones and go bigger and bigger...with this said my thoughts and prayers are with you...thank you for the serenity room i do enjoy the time i do get to spend in there :)
momtoava
How do your get to the serenity room?
lydia979