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grndmudder 
I have not been having time to check my mail much less answer it. I have taken in a girl and her 2 sons . This girls name is Wendy and she was engaged to my son Paul when he died. She has never let go of him, and has just convinced herself that had she answered her phone that night he died, he would still be alive and none of the bad stuff that is happening to her would be happening because Paul would have taken care of her and it.
Wendy got married less than 2 years ago, and her husband was cheating on her the whole marriage. She left him 3 months ago and found out that he has a pregnant girlfriend who is already 4 months pregnant. She knew he was cheating, but this was sort of rubbuing her nose in it. One of their problems was he thought she was still in love with Paul. He was jealous of a dead man. How that is threatening to you is beyond me. I guess just becuase she still does have feelings.
The first night she stayed here, she asked me if she could have Paul's ashes in her room on her dresser. I let her, but this does show sh has unresolved feelings of grief and guilt too I think.
Her family is awful and they will not help her. They wanted her to stay with her husband. Since she left him he has busted out her car windows and drained the oil out of her car. TWICE. The first time the oil light came on so she stopped and did not hurt the car. The second time he took the fuses out so the oil light would not come on. Why he must not love her if he was cheating? He is really crazy. I think he wanted to leave her and she made him mad by leaving first.
She has an 11 yr old and a 2 yr old. So 3 adults and 2 kids in our small place, oh and a 50 lb. dog.
It is a constant reminder of Paul and the time of grief we went through together. It is hard for me to face this reminder each day.
I am taking antidepressants , but my kids are still gone. I go th the counseler, but my kids are still gone. My husband loves me and he has been patient and supportive, no matter how crazy of a thing I wanted to do. But they are still gone and my heart is still shattered. I have put a few pieces together and I can go in public and be OK.(Most of the time.)
I am not me anymore. My life is just not my life any more. Part of me died with Paul and part with Steven, Karla was just like someone spitting in my face. God is saying you can't even have a step daughter.
For some reason I am hurting and sad right now. James and I are having our 21 aniversary on the 30th. We are going to see the Transformers Movie. We both loved the other one. It will be nice to get out alone. It is hard for us having people in the house. We are used to being just us together and us talking and laughing and being together.
No matter what that we do or what happens, my kids are still gone, and I hurt. I love you all and thank each of you for your love and supportLove Peggy
Comments
God Bless you and hold you tight, dear friend! Love you, Judy
JudyWI
Peggy, My heavens, you've gone through so much, now this. It is indeed amazing your taking in this lady and children. But I worry about your well being. My thoughts and prayers are with you
Fouty
Peggy,
I do feel for you and now you are taking on additional folks. You must think of yourself first and if having Wendy live with you is to hard she needs to find other avenues .It is nice to be nice but one needs to start with self. Hugs, Inga
ihart
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY...enjoy the movie & don't forget you also have to take care of yourself...Hugs, Ann
annsullivan
You're doing a wonderful thing for this girl. Just make sure you are taking care of yourself too, ok? We love you!
Annabeth
Have a wonderful anniversary.. please remember that your well being is very important and you must take care of you.. love to you..
munrogirl
I do so know how it is to have pretty much no where to go. So while it is hard, I know you have helped Wendy. I hope she is able to get on her own feet soon and that she stays safe from this abusive husband of hers. I love you Peggy and think of you often.
BinkyH
I hope you have a wonderful anniversary. I am sorry for the pain you are going through right now. I wish I could help you more. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and that I have been where you are in my pain and thoughts. Our lives will never be the same. You are very thoughtful for helping Wendy out, even though it must hurt. But I am sure your son is very proud of you for trying to do the right thing.
rusty1
peggy, it is good to hear from you. I am so sorry for your sons girlfriend and what you are dealing with facing the grief you are now seeing in her as well as your own it cannot be easy. You are very brave. I know your life is different it cannot be the same it is unfair all that you lost in losing two sons and then your step dtr. It is too much. You are amazing to have the love in your heart to continue to reach out and help others and always you offer kindness love support and compassion to us here. I am inspired to know you and have you as my friend. Thnak you, I am sending you prayers and hugs and lots of love. I know your sons are pround of their mom and very near you in during these times of such intense sadness. Hugs,Kate
katemc
I hope you and your hubby have a wonderful anniversary Peggy! Yes, you are right when you say you are not you anymore. We've all had to learn to live a different kind of life. But you are a great lady to take in Wendy & her 2 sons. You are their shelter from the rain. Lots of love to you, my friend.
Debbie
djlchill
I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings on you, Diane
DiRN
It is a great thing you have done taking in Wendy and her children, but like so many others have said. Take care of yourself first, you deserve it. Much love Meredith
Barkerseggs
You are doing a good thing. Hold tight this too will pass. Love and hugs Cathy
RockstarsMom